After The Dark Angel
by Phantomdeath
Summary: Sequel to The Dark Angel. Occurs during what should be Harry's last year of Auror training. On a visit to Hogwarts, Harry receives information from Severus about more Dark forces rising. And then there's the matter of Harry's newest crush... Warnings: Slash, cutting... (Essentially the same warnings that were on "The Dark Angel" just with the addition of slash) (I own nothing!)
1. Chapter 1: Some Things Never Change

Chapter 1: Some Things Never Change

Harry took a deep breath and prepared to apparate. He arrived just outside of Hogwarts grounds a few minutes later. Normally, he would have used floo powder but this was more of a surprise visit. He pushed open one of the front doors and walked into the quiet castle. _Classes in session, _Harry assumed, as he walked down to the dungeons. He stopped in the doorway of the potions room where Severus was giving a lecture. Harry walked in, smirking. Snape stopped his lecture mid-sentence and crossed the room to meet him in the aisle. The students stared in awe as their potions master, hugged the younger wizard before him with a smile plastered on his face. "Professor," Harry whispered in Sev's ear as they hugged, "you're smiling… and hugging." Snape laughed just loudly enough for Harry to hear and backed away.

"A pleasure to see you, Mr. Potter."

"And you. Have you the potions I requested?"

"Indeed," Severus said, as he stalked to his personal supply and grabbed a handful of random vials.

"What year are they?" Harry asked as Snape put the vials in a velvet lined box.

"First. And bloody idiots."

"Oh Professor, so redundant," he replied, smirking.

"Five points from Gryffindor," Severus sneered.

"I regret to inform you it doesn't work like that anymore," Harry said snarkily. The students continued to watch in awe as Snape smiled _again_ and hand Harry the box.

"You sound more like me each time I see you." Severus remarked.

"Terrifying, isn't it?" He said as he disappeared through the door. As he walked through the empty hall, he opened the case Snape had given him and laughed. Inside were all potions Snape had graded, and clearly no one knew what they were doing. He pocketed the box, making a mental note to return the vials to Severus later.

Harry made his way to McGonagall's classroom. She was teaching seventh year Gryffindors and Slytherins. He slipped in and took a seat in the back of the room while she had her back turned. Her stern stare softened as her eyes fell upon him. "Harry," she said, walking closer.

"Professor," He smirked. Harry rarely visited anyone but Severus when he came back to Hogwarts.

"How have you been?" She asked with concern.

"It's only been five months since you last saw me," he stated.

"And you are not to worry me like that again, Mr. Potter!" She snapped, only a hint of humor in her voice.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied sarcastically, smirking. She was stunned at how much he reminded her of Severus.

"Potter, you've become so much like him," she said cryptically.

"Have I? I hadn't noticed," Harry said smiling, he loved it when people said he reminded them of Severus. But, of course, they also included that he was a kinder version of Snape. Harry didn't believe that to be true, he reasoned that they just didn't know the Severus he knew and therefore couldn't make an accurate comparison.

Minerva laughed as she hugged him. "I've missed you. Visit more frequently," she ordered.

"As you wish," He whispered almost sarcastically as he left the room.

Harry walked down the halls idly as he awaited for Snape's lessons to end. He was anxious to speak with him about his training and that he had gotten an internship with Moody. When Harry made it down to Sev's library, he took a seat in his favourite leather chair and sighed. _It's been a while since I've really gotten a chance to relax, _he thought bitterly. _Training has been rough, but that's never stopped me. _His thoughts continued to swirl around as he waited for Severus. Finally, he came in through the portrait.

"Sev!" Harry exclaimed gleefully, getting up to hug him again.

"Harry!" Severus said tiredly, as though he was trying to muster as much excitement as he could.

"Long day?" He asked, looping his arms around him. Snape nodded, leaning heavily into the hug. "Want to talk about it?" Harry inquired with concern. Severus made his way to a chair across from the one Harry has previously vacated. He sat with a sigh and gestured for Harry to sit as well. He did.

"First years are giving me an absolute headache. Same old, same old," he said softly.

"I see, how are things going with the whole Voldemort-is-gone-now-and-the-Death-Eaters-have-nothing-to-do thing?" Snape's face darkened.

"There isn't exactly nothing to do." Fear slithered its way into Harry's chest.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, one of them is trying to be the next Dark Lord," he hissed, a new fire in his eyes.

"HOW?!" Harry yelled, losing his composure.

"He told someone, one of the Death Eaters, about how to create a Horcrux. I believe he is using the lessons the Dark Lord gave him, or if he isn't, he soon will be." Harry sagged in his chair as Severus pressed on. "I don't know who it is, but I know that it's a male. Draco still hasn't mastered Occlumency," he said, answering Harry's quizzical look.

"What is he after?"

"Power," Severus answered. Harry muttered under his breath. "I didn't catch that."

"I never get a break," Harry said more clearly.

"Clearly," he replied slowly.

Harry's mind was racing. _If we can catch him before he starts getting too much power, it will be less of a risk… First we need to figure out who "he" is. Damn Draco for any mastering of Occlumency he's got…_

"…dinner, hungry?" He caught the end of Severus's question.

"Um, sorry, I didn't hear you."

"I haven't had dinner, hungry?" He repeated.

"Sure, steak?" Harry asked hopefully, setting his fears aside in hope of getting some Hogwarts-style dinner.

"Of course."


	2. Chapter 2: Late Night Chat

Chapter 2: Late Night Chat

Harry woke in the middle of the night, his breathing, uneven and heavy, his heart pounding. He groaned as he rolled over and realized he was drenched in sweat. "Just a nightmare, just a nightmare," he repeated to himself in the dark. He stared up in the dark room, torn between wanting sleep and not wanting to be sucked back into the nightmare.

_Vernon was leaning over him, whipping him repeatedly with a studded belt. He laughed as Harry tried to not shriek in pain. The metal studs sliced jagged lines in his flesh with each connection. "Not a sound, boy!" Vernon said smiling at Harry's discomfort. As the belt came down more times than Harry could count, he slowly stopped feeling it. The smell of burning flesh filled his nose and he gagged. Spinning around, he saw that Vernon was covered in flames. "QUIT IT BOY! PUT IT OUT!" He screamed._

_When Harry spoke, the voice was not his own, but the one belonging to Voldemort, "Bow to me."_

"_Put out the bloody fire, boy!"_

"_BOW!" Harry commanded with the eerie voice. As he spoke, his uncle morphed into Snape, calling for him to stop. "Severusssss," he hissed._

"_Harry, please, make it stop. PLEASE," Snape cried. Harry tried to make it stop but he felt something overpowering him, as though his own body wouldn't do his will. _

"_I'M SORRY!" Harry screamed with his own voice, then it shifted, "Crucio—" _

He shivered as he thought through his nightmare again and again, trying to find some sort of meaning. Finally he gave up on sleep and walked to the bathroom. He hopped in the shower and tried to relax, letting the water run across his skin. It was calming, but his mind continued to race. After he dried off, her trudged into the library. Sighing, he grabbed a quill, ink, and parchment. Harry started making a list of the Death Eaters he knew that could be attempting the feat of being the next Dark Lord. He hadn't gotten far when a voice startled him. "What are you doing up?" Severus inquired with concern.

"I… er, nightmare," he fumbled. Snape nodded and dropped into the chair beside him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Vernon was… um… yeah. Anyway, I set him on fire and then he morphed into you and I had Voldemort's voice," Harry cut the summary short. Severus nodded.

"Are you alright?"

"I'll be fine. I showered, it helped a little," Harry said softly.

"Do you have them a lot? The nightmares."

"Yes. But can we not focus on that now?" He asked pleadingly. Snape reluctantly gave a single nod.

"What's that?" He asked, curiosity heavy in his voice as he noticed the parchment Harry was twisting between his fingers.

"A list of who could possibly be trying to be the next Dark Lord," he replied flatly. As he spoke, Severus snatched the list.

"Both the Malfoys?" He asked, eyebrows raised. Harry nodded. "I suppose you have a point. Draco wants to make his father proud and Lucius…" he shook his head. Harry shot him a quizzical look but Snape dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "I'll figure out who it is soon enough."

"I thought they all hated you?"

"Most do, but some aren't as loyal as they say. Better offers sway them."

"Such as?" Harry pressed.

"It isn't important, Severus said nonchalantly. Snape's lack of explanation was really starting to irritate Harry.

"Do you have a plan, you know, when you do figure it out?" He asked angrily. Severus's shoulders sagged.

"No," he said softly. "I don't." Harry studied his old potions master closely, looking for any signs of a lie. When he found none, he still continued to study. He saw the lines of age, the way his eyes had lost their old spark and fire. It saddened him, Severus had always appeared strong. _Well usually, _he thought.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect bad news so quickly," he said gently. Severus nodded his forgiveness. Harry searched for something else to talk about. "I have an offer for an internship," he said cheerfully. Snape looked up with renewed interest.

"Where? With whom?"

"Moody, I'd get to shadow him next semester and a year after that doing field work," the elation was practically radiating from Harry and Snape did his best to hide his worry and sadness. He wanted Harry to be happy. But he also wanted him safe. Harry noticed the flash of worry on Sev's face and quickly said, "But don't worry, there's not much going on with Volde…." He trailed off realizing that there would be more going on once this new Death Eater rose to power. "Oh," he said breathlessly.

"I'm happy for you, Harry. Just please be careful," Severus said.

"I will. I haven't taken it yet though."

"You could take a few years off—"

"No, I can't. I'm lucky I got in to begin with," Harry countered.

"Alright," Severus said, realizing he didn't want to fight about this now. _There will be a time for this conversation. It's not now._

Harry smirked, "Don't get all worried about me. I'll think you've gone soft." He was trying hard to ease the tension. Severus chuckled.

"Seeing as we've chatted away the remainder of the night, care for an early breakfast?" Harry nodded, relaxed again.

**A/N: I didn't think it would start with this much conflict, but don't worry. They won't fight too long! **


	3. Chapter 3: Alex

Chapter 3: Alex

After breakfast, Harry relaxed in Snape's chambers while he taught his lessons. He skimmed a few of the healing books on the shelves and sketched a few owls on stray scraps of parchment. Around lunch time, Harry got bored and set off through the castle, heading for the dining hall. On his way, he smacked into a student. "Sorry," he mumbled and bent to pick up her books.

"It's okay, thanks," she whispered as she took the books from him.

"You're welcome," he said standing. The girl, a blonde with a thin frame and blue eyes, stepped back.

"Oh Merlin…. You're him… You're Harry Potter," she said breathlessly.

"I am, and you are…?" She blushed, realizing she hadn't introduced herself.

"Oh, um… I'm Alex… just Alex." She looked nervously at the ground as Harry smirked and studied her. Her skin was excruciatingly pale against the black of her robes. The tie around her neck marked her as a Slytherin. _She must be the shiest Slytherin in history,_ he thought as she avoided eye contact, _or a first year… no, she can't be a first year…_

"Well, just Alex, I assume you're either going to lunch or you're extremely late to a class."

"Lunch… I'm going to lunch…" Alex said softly.

"May I accompany you?" She looked up, shock and confusion crossed her face.

"Sure!" She said, almost too quickly. Harry followed her to the Slytherin table. He ignored the glares he received from those who belonged to Death Eater families. Alex took a seat at the far end of the table and gestured for him to sit across from her. He did and scooped a bit of food onto his plate. She took a little salad and not much else. Nibbling on it she timidly asked, "So why are you back at Hogwarts, didn't you graduate or whatever?"

"Yeah, I did, but I still visit," he replied nonchalantly. She nodded and continued to pick at her food. Harry glanced across the table and found Alex staring at him. "What?" he asked cautiously, unsure if she spoke and he didn't hear her.

"Nothing, sorry," she looked back down at her plate and poked at a tomato. _Odd,_ Harry thought as he studied her, _does she enjoy silent meals or am I just making this awkward. _

"What's your next class?"

"Potions," Alex said glumly.

"I used to hate potions." She looked up in surprise.

"But I saw you with Snape earlier and he looked happy to see you."

"I got better. And, simply because you hate a subject, doesn't mean you have to hate your professor," Harry said with a smirk. She smiled back. He glanced up at the professor's table and noticed Severus staring straight at him. _Shit, he looks angry. _"Alex, I'd better go… Sorry," he said apologetically. The smile from before, remained.

"It's alright, Harry, I don't mind," Alex said sweetly. He smirked and slipped her a piece of parchment before he fled the hall.

He returned to Snape's chambers and fell asleep on the leather couch. A cool voice woke him. "Why, dare I ask, did you find it a good idea to sit at the Slytherin table?" Harry sat up and found himself inches from a death glare.

"I…um… well… I just wanted some food and Alex had dropped her books… She was okay with me sitting by her—"

"For the remainder of your visit you will either sit with me at the professors' table, or you will remain here," he hissed, gesturing to the kitchen.

"Sorry, sir," Harry said softly.

"It's alright. I just worry about you. Those students have parents who still want to kill you. Parents who wouldn't mind if their kids were expelled for killing you," he said seriously. Harry nodded and leaned back into the leather.

"So aside from lunch, how was your day?"

"It was alright. Nothing incredibly exciting to report. My apologies," he said snarkily. Harry relaxed more since Severus seemed to be acting like his old self.

"Well, at least no one exploded anything, right?"

"Indeed. So, Harry, how long will you be gracing me with your presence this time?"

"Training begins again on Tuesday."

"I presume you'll depart Monday then?"

"Yeah, probably. Seeing as today is Friday, my visit will end soon." Snape nodded and stood.

"Care for some tea?"

"Sure. Have you any leads on the—"

"No, I shall inform you when I know something," Sev said calmly, though there was a note of finality.

"Okay. So what do you know about Alex?" Harry asked quietly.

"Alex who?"

"Dunno, blonde, blue eyes, thin, kind of… shy?"

"Hmmm, ah, yes. Miss. Lestrange." Harry's breath caught…. His mind started racing. _She doesn't look anything like Bellatrix, I mean she could have used a glamour though. Merlin knows I use them. _

"Any relation to Bellatrix?!" He blurted.

"I don't believe so, Harry. Relax. But to answer your previous question, she's in Slytherin, which you've obviously gathered. Her talents do not lie in potions, at all. I believe she is a seventh year, if I'm not mistaken. Why the sudden interest in my student?" Severus asked, suddenly aware of Harry's unwavering attention.

"Nothing. Just wondering why a Slytherin would care about me at all."

"I'm not sure why she ended up in Slytherin, honestly. She doesn't behave like them. As her Head of House, I've never once needed to scold her. I haven't seen much of her since the sorting. She hardly comes to meals, but she is usually in class." Harry listened attentively but tried to appear as though he wasn't.

"That's odd, why wouldn't she eat much?"

"Perhaps she's watching her figure, though I do say she is dangerously thin as is."

"Look out, Professor, you sound like you care about _another_ student. Don't go soft on me," Harry joked.

"Shut up, Potter!" Severus said as he set a cup before Harry. Before he turned around to grab his own cup, he playfully clapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey!" Harry said, attempting to stifle a laugh. Sev laughed as he took his own seat across from him.

"Harry," he said seriously. The smile faded from Harry's face when he heard Snape's tone.

"Yes?"

"I know that I have no business telling you what you should do, but, there is something I would like to say."

"Alright, let's hear it."

Severus took a deep breath before he spoke. "I know how badly you want to be an Auror, and I admire that about you. You're strong, dedicated, and you're incredibly determined. But Harry, the wizarding world is taking a turn for the worst again. Are you sure you want to put yourself through that?" Harry listened quietly while his old professor spoke. "I just worry about you. I don't want to see you hurt again."

"I know you're worried, Sev. I am too. But the world changing into a more dangerous place is more of a reason for me to go back and receive the training I need to make it safe again," he replied softly.

"I won't bother you about it again. I simply wanted you to know my stand." Harry nodded and the conversation shifted to more comfortable topics. After a few more hours of chatting, Severus and Harry bid each other goodnight and retired to their rooms.

Harry fell into the familiar bed and his eyelids fluttered shut, but he didn't fall asleep. Instead, he lay awake, truly pondering, for the first time, if he was making the right decision about being an Auror.


	4. Chapter 4: Always Something

Chapter 4: Always Something

Harry woke to the smell of bacon. He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. _What time is it? 6:57, really Sev._ He groaned,_ it's so early. But that bacon…_ He threw off his covers and pulled on sweatpants before heading into the kitchen. "Morning Sev," Harry said, his voice deep and scratchy from sleep.

"Morning," Severus said in a tone that sounded far more awake. "Ready for some breakfast?" Harry nodded as Snape scooped eggs and bacon onto his plate. He served himself before sitting across from him.

"What are the plans for today?"

"It's entirely up to you."

"Hang on," Harry said springing up from the table. He hastened to his room and came back with the box Severus had given him upon his arrival. "Here," he said holding it out to Sev.

"What…?" He opened the box and laughed. "I've been looking for these!" He exclaimed as he took out one of the vials.

Harry laughed as he asked, "What was that supposed to be?" He gestured to the vial Snape was holding. It had a red "F" scrawled across the glass.

"Invigorating Draught… It's not even the proper colour!" He remarked though laughter.

"I still can't believe you gave me random potions that FIRST YEARS brewed!"

"How did you know they were first years?!"

"Come on, this particular student messed up an Invigorating Draught. They're either a first year, or me," Harry replied smirking. Severus laughed.

"I should give you more credit, Potter. Five points to Gryffindor."

Harry's eyebrows shot up. "Five!? A whole FIVE?! I never—" his own fit of laughter cut him off. Snape tried to stifle a laugh and ended up snorting, causing Harry to laugh harder. Once the two had calmed down enough to speak again, Harry spoke. "I'm free until five today."

"And what might the famous Harry Potter be doing at five?"

"Err,"_ Shit, I never considered he'd ask me about this… lie! Lying works…_ "I'm having dinner with Professor McGonagall."

"Ah, enjoy!" Harry felt instantly guilty but smiled in response. "Tell me, how is your owl? I haven't seen much of her as of late."

"Actually, she's… caring for her egg." Shock momentarily crossed Snape's face.

"Lovely. You purchased a mate?"

"Err, not really, I just walked in to check on her the other day and there was another owl with her."

"Mhm, was it another Snowy Owl?"

"No, this one was black… It was odd, I thought I saw it somewhere before, but I couldn't be certain."

"Would you like to go to Diagon Alley?" He inquired, changing the topic all together. _Shit, shit, shit… it could have been MY owl. Dammit Erik. _

"Sure?" Harry replied, slightly confused by the sudden change in conversation.

"Alright, we leave at ten." A glance at the clock told Harry he only had half an hour to get ready. He sprinted back to his room and changed.

They spent the day going to shops and chatting idly about how their lives were going. Harry was pleased to have time to relax and to purchase a few things that he would need for the evening. "Sev?" Harry asked, drawing both of them from their thoughts.

"Yes, Harry?"

"What did you do with that snake necklace I gave you?"

"This one?" He asked as he reached down and pulled the charm out from under his robes. The snake winked at Harry from its place on the chain around Snape's neck. "I've never taken it off since the night you gave it to me. It's saved my life on numerous occasions."

Harry was attempting to not cry. _Damn emotions. _"Did you name it?" He asked in an attempt to not let his tears fall.

"I did. Vita, it means 'life' in Italian," he said softly. "At least I think that's what I read…" he added under his breath. Harry was speechless. He thought Severus has just forgotten about the charmed snake. "You're going to be late!" Snape exclaimed, pulling Harry form his sentimental thoughts.

"Shit, you're right!" Harry started sprinting to a nearby shop, hoping to use the fireplace to Floo back to Hogwarts.

"Harry!" The harshness in his voice stopped Potter in his tracks

"What?"

"Take my arm," he commanded.

"No—!" Harry protested, but Snape looped his arm around Harry's before he could say more.

They appeared at the edge of Hogwarts grounds. Harry collapsed beside Snape. "Potter! What is it?"

"I hate apparating. It makes me sick… MOVE" Severus jumped back just in time.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked as though Harry wasn't violently convulsing and vomiting. "Never mind that, just… here." He offered Harry a vial. _Wow Severus, way to go, attempt to hand the boy a bloody vial while he has no control of himself. _Severus shook his head at his own stupidity and forced the contents of the vial down Harry's throat. Moments later, the convulsing stopped and he relaxed.

"Sorry," he mumbled, ashamed of himself.

"When did that start?"

"… I don't know…"

"Harry," he said sternly.

"Okay, okay! It's been like this since I started training. If I don't take a potion before I go, this happens." Snape nodded.

"I'll be looking in to this," he commented as he helped Harry off the ground. "Scourgify."

Harry looked guiltily up at him, "Thanks… I'm sorry. I did try to warn you though…"

"I know, I'm sorry too. Now hurry!" Harry smiled and ran toward the castle. Severus watched him go. _Always something with Potter, Always. _


	5. Chapter 5: Date

Chapter 5: Date

Harry rushed to an unused wing of the castle and tried to find an unlocked door. When he succeeded, he hastily pushed all the tables, but one, toward the edges of the room and pulled the lone table to the center. He threw a table cloth over it and put some candles in the middle, along with a single rose in a thin glass vase. _This is so cliché, _he thought as he pulled a record out of one of the bags he'd brought with him. He found a phonograph in the corner of the room and put the record on it. _Damn I got lucky with this room. _He finished setting up then checked the time. Harry raced from the room and made it to the courtyard where he told Alex to meet him. She was there when he arrived. "Sorry I'm late," he said, jogging over. "I got a little tied up." She giggled and took his hand.

"What are we doing?"

"Follow me," he said with a smirk and a glint in his eye. She took his outstretched hand and followed him to the room he'd prepared. He covered her eyes with his hands as they entered to keep the element of surprise. Alex's breath caught when she saw the room before her.

"It's beautiful!" She breathed as he led her over to the table. A house-elf appeared with a platter of cheeses and crackers.

"Appetizers," he squeaked before disappearing again.

"Enjoy," Harry said, taking a seat across from her. She smiled broadly and took a cracker. After they nibbled on the crackers and cheese for a while, Harry broke the silence. "Do you like swordfish?" Her eyes lit up as he spoke and she nodded vigorously. "Good, it's almost here." Another house-elf appeared and set a plate of swordfish, potatoes, and salad before each of them. They again ate in silence, not knowing what to say. Harry's eyes never left her, she was beautiful. _The way the candlelight flickers on her cheeks is bringing out the gorgeous blue of her eyes. I want to protect her from everything, always. She's so stunning,_ Harry thought as he tried to come up with something to say to her. He was comfortable in silence but didn't know if she was. Coming up with nothing to say, he remained silent. When they'd finished their dinner, he stood and walked to the phonograph. As he put the needle on the record, he turned around to face her. "Care to dance?" She crossed the room and took his hand.

"It'd be an honour," she said smiling. After a moment of silence, a waltz played. Harry led, and Alex complimented him. "You're a brilliant waltzer!" He laughed and shrugged. "Wait, that's not a word, is it?"

"It is now," he said sweetly, dipping her. She giggled. They continued dancing until the song ended. "Dessert?" Alex nodded again. He twirled her to the table and pulled out the chair for her.

"Thank you," she said softly as she dropped into her seat. Harry took his own seat and watched as Alex scooped some cake onto her fork. It was a decent sized bite and she ended up smearing chocolate icing on her face. She hastily tried to wipe it off with the back of her hand but Harry noticed. Smirking, he asked if she liked it and she nodded shyly. He finished his piece and looked up to see her only a few inches from him. Harry leaned closer and pressed his lips gently to hers. She kissed him back, but only for a moment before pulling away. She blushed at her own confidence, but it was quickly evaporating. He offered her a small smile and Alex returned it.

"Would you allow me to escort you back to your dormitory?" He inquired, standing and offering her his arm.

"I'd like that," she replied, looping her arm through his. "You're such a gentleman," she said giggling. He smiled, unsure of how to reply. He walked her to the dungeons, they were out after hours and miraculously weren't caught. Before she whispered the password, Harry stole a kiss. She leaned into him kissing him back with a fiery passion that surprised him. Alex pushed him against the wall, further intensifying the moment. An animalistic growl emanated form his chest. She nipped at his collarbone, his growl fueling her want.

"We can't do this, not here," he said, his voice gruff. She nodded, understanding what he meant. "There's always tomorrow…" Harry hinted. She smiled.

"You don't want to sound too eager. Maybe on your next visit. But I might be in the library on Monday at noon, if you could spare an hour. It'd be nice to see you again."

"Perhaps, I might find my way there then," he replied with a smirk. Her smile widened as the door allowed her in.

"Until Monday," she whispered, closing the door.

"Until Monday," he agreed just before it clicked shut. He walked away with a smile on his face, his plan was to return to Severus's Chambers and speak with him for a few minutes before heading off to bed. Harry turned to walk down a near-by corridor when he ran into Snape. "Oh, hi Sev!" He said far too cheerfully.

"Potter," he replied. _Shit, I'm in trouble. _"My chambers. Now," he hissed. Harry reluctantly trudged to Snape's library and fell heavily into a leather chair. Sev followed him in and sat in a chair facing his. "You'll never guess into whom I ran while doing my rounds."

"Who?" Harry asked, not making eye-contact.

"Professor McGonagall." _SHIT._

"Oh, um, how is she?" He inquired, knowing full well how guilty he sounded.

"Funny, I figured you would know since you were supposedly dining with her," he said bitterly.

"Right, well, uh, plans y'know, changed and I didn't actually see her…"

"Upon further investigation, I learned that these plans never existed. Why, Harry, are you lying to me?" He asked. Hurt flashed across his face and guilt stabbed Harry in the chest.

"I'm sorry, I was just busy helping Alex with Potions and I didn't know how to tell you because you were so angry that I was with her before." It was killing him to lie to Sev. _I am the scum of the earth, _he thought to himself.

Severus sighed, "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I just worry—"

"I know you do, but I can take care of myself, I'm practically an Auror," Harry countered softly before Snape had the chance to sink more guilt into him.

"Are you alright? You seem a bit stressed," he asked with concern.

"I'm just tired, Sev," Harry said softly.

"Get to bed then, we can't have you too exhausted. The world might need saving," he added with a smirk. Harry laughed and walked over to him, gave him a hug and turned to go to his room.

He opened the top drawer of the dresser and parted some clothes. _He didn't clean it out, everything is still here... Everything. _Harry reached down and his fingers closed around the familiar object. He took a deep breath as all his old memories flooded back. The steel was still cool beneath his hand and his desire to feel it in him woke. _It's been years, you've made it so far! _A small voice in the back of his head exclaimed, he pushed it down as he held the knife in front of him. _I want this,_ he thought. His heart raced, his veins cried for the pleasure of the blade. He was going to grant them their wish. Harry racked the steel down his forearm, a jagged line. _I'm unpracticed. Scum. Worthless. Hopeless. I let Sev down. And Alex, oh Alex… I'm a liar. Who could care about the real me? Who could care about this?! _As he thought, he carved more and more lines into his skin, tears streamed down his cheeks. Harry dropped his glamours and watched as the blood flowed over the old scars. Guilt and regret hit him hard but he didn't stop. Line after line, marring his flesh more and more. Blood splattered on the floor and walls. He decided he would clean it in the morning. Finally, exhaustion won. Harry wrapped his arm in tape and gauze and fell into bed. Sleep sucked him in instantly.


	6. Chapter 6: A Little Comfort

Chapter 6: A Little Comfort

Harry woke to Severus knocking on his door. "'M up. 'M up," he mumbled into his pillow. He noted that he'd stripped to his boxers in his sleep. _I suppose it was hot with all the gauze, _he reasoned with himself.

"Harry come on, you've slept through breakfast. It's 11:30!" Severus called through the door. He moved to push himself out of bed and hissed. His arm burned more than he expected it to after last night. The door flew open to reveal Snape with a death grip on his wand, prepared to see The Dark Lord himself in the room with Harry. He scanned the room for any signs of danger and stopped on the dried blood splatters in the corner of the room. Severus looked at Harry with a pained expression.

"Why didn't you come get me?" He asked weakly, his arms falling to his sides, defeated.

"There was nothing you could have done," Harry whispered softly. "I'm sorry." Severus ran a hand through his hair as he looked at the scene in front of him.

Sighing he turned back to Harry and asked, "may I see them?" Dejected and defeated, Harry dropped his glamours and held up his arms. He looked down to see where the blanket had fallen and found it laying across his hips. Severus stared at the young man before him. "Can you remove the gauze?" He asked softly. Harry did as told and Sev had to stifle a gasp. There was hardly a section of his forearms that wasn't marred and an angry red. His entire ribcage was destroyed with lines following the curvature of his ribs. Severus could see cuts peeking out from under the blanket he was under. "Harry…" he whispered.

"I know. I fucked up. I'm sorry Sev. I'm sorry." Harry knew it was a lame reply but it was the best he had. Severus came over to him, that pained look still contorted his face.

"Harry, please. Not again," he mumbled as he sat beside him. Harry wouldn't look at him, he didn't want to see the pity and anguish written clearly upon the man's usually well-guarded face.

"I won't make a promise I can't keep. Scourgify." The dried blood disappeared.

"Please don't do it," Snape said, extending a hand toward him. Harry leaned into it, falling into Severus. Even though he was relaxed more around Harry than anyone else, he still almost pulled back. The feeling of true human interaction scared him slightly. Harry pressed closer against him, hoping the world would just dissolve if he made himself one with the black robes. "Why don't you just stay here today alright?" Harry nodded, grateful for the sympathy he didn't feel he deserved. "What would you like for lunch?" He asked softly, afraid to spook Harry.

"I don't care," he mumbled into his robes.

"Okay, how 'bout some chicken soup and a half sandwich?"

"Brilliant." When Snape moved to make lunch, Harry's hand shot out and grabbed his robs. "Wait, please don't go… let the house-elves make it or something. I don't have to eat…" He trailed off.

"Okay, I'll stay. Shh, relax," Severus coaxed. Harry leaned heavily into him, crying softly into the black surrounding him. Sev rubbed his back and murmured gentle words of comfort in his ear.

Eventually, Harry fell asleep and Severus just stayed there afraid to disturb the young man. He was hesitant to shift position, but when his leg went numb he did. Harry didn't stir, but Sev stayed anyway.

Around 5 pm. Harry woke. "Sev?" he asked.

"Yes, Harry?"

"You stayed?" He asked, a bit shocked.

"Well I wouldn't just leave you. You were upset," he said simply.

"Oh. Right." After a brief silence Harry spoke again. "Sev?"

"Hm?"

Harry was planning to tell him that he had decided to not go back to training for a while. But he chickened out. He settled for, "I'm glad you're here for me. It means a lot." Even though Harry had said it far more times than Severus could count, it still nearly brought tears to the man's eyes.

"I'll always be here for you. Always," he emphasized when Harry looked as though he didn't believe it. "Come on, we must at least dine with the others." Harry sighed heavily and pushed himself off of Snape, he immediately missed the comfort and warmth he had provided, but shook it from his mind. He put his glamours back up before they left Snape's chambers.

Severus and Harry ate with the other professors. Harry was the most interesting thing at the table since so many of them hadn't seen him in so long. He told them about his training and how he was progressing so well. While it pained Snape to know Harry was leaving him again, his heart swelled with pride for Harry. A sudden thought struck Severus—_convince him to teach here!_ He quickly pushed it from his head. Sev wanted Harry to be happy. "…Severus?" During his short battle with himself, he'd tuned out the conversation. He wasn't sure who said his name either.

"My apologies, I was trying to remember if I'd left a potion brewing too long. What was asked?" He inquired, trying to pay each of the expectant faces equal attention.

At least Minerva spoke, "Severus, we were wondering what you thought of Harry's training."

"Oh, yes. I think it's brilliant that he'll be doing something functional with his life," he replied, nudging Harry with his shoulder. Harry smirked but someone at the student tabled caught his eye. _Alex. _He finished his dinner quickly, promising to see them all again before he left and left dinner. He waited outside for a few minutes before Alex joined him.

"I didn't think you'd stay," she said softly.

"Well, I did," he replied somewhat snarkily.

"Isn't Professor Snape going to be angry with you?"

"No, he thinks I'm teaching you about potions. Which I probably should considering it's going to be hard to cover that lie if I don't. So is out meeting tomorrow still on?" He inquired hopefully.

"Only if you wish it," she said smiling.

"I do," Harry whispered, he saw a shadow that looked vaguely Snape-shaped.

"It's a date," she replied cheerfully.

"It's a date," he confirmed and stalked away.

Harry returned to Snape's chambers before he did. He poured himself some Firewhiskey and collapsed in a chair. He hated lying to Severus, but he knew the relationship couldn't exactly be broadcasted. Harry went to his room to slice a quick line in his arm. Just after stowing his knife, Snape entered the chambers. Harry met him in the library.

"That was quite the quick departure from dinner" he remarked, rather impressed.

"I don't enjoy questions, Sev."

"You've made that extremely clear."

"Sorry. Could you… um… could you sleep with me tonight?" Harry asked innocently. When the look of utter confusion crossed Snape's face, Harry reconsidered his wording. "No, not like…. THAT, just like, lay next to me? For comfort? Please?" He begged.

"Sure. I need to finish a few potions first, but I should be there by ten," Severus replied slowly to the odd request.

"Okay," Harry said softly, incredibly grateful that Sev said yes.


	7. Chapter 7: Staying

Chapter 7: Staying

Harry

_He was on a date with Alex, she'd looked beautiful. Her blonde hair was pulled back but a single curl had escaped the bunch and was nestled against her face. Her eyes sparkled in the low light of the room. He knew that there was something amiss but couldn't put his finger on it. Alex's fingers caressed his cheek and distracted him from his thoughts, he inhaled her scent, a sweet vanilla with a hint of coconut. She pulled him closer to her, their bodies touched and he sighed. Alex pressed her lips to his, sweetly at first, then with a fiery desire. He pressed against her with equal need and passion. Harry closed his eyes for a mere moment and when he opened them, all their clothes were off. He took in the beautiful sight before him. "Alex," he breathed as he studied every inch of her, the sharp line of her jaw bone, the gentle curve of her breasts, down her elegant ribs… She came closer, breaking his concentration. Alex lifted one of his arms and pointed at it with concern. Harry looked down to see his scars and realized he hadn't put his glamours up. Hastily he took his arm back and smiled guiltily. Alex kissed him again, scars forgotten. He wrapped his arms around her, closed his eyes, and sank into the kiss. The atmosphere changed. Harry was COLD. He opened his eyes and saw, not Alex, but a swamp-green, skeletal Dementor. He reached for his wand but it was gone. Somewhere in his mind, he knew Dementors were black but he couldn't register that now. He screamed— "Harry! Wake up, it's just a dream! Wake up!" A far off voice said. He screamed louder. Harry needed to warn this voice that there is a Dementor. "HARRY!" The voice yelled. Laugher. Someone was laughing. But who?—_

The nightmare faded and Harry found himself staring at a distraught Severus. There was a dim light on in the room that just allowed him to make out the tears on his face. _Why is Sev crying?_ "Oh thank merlin," Snape breathed when his eyes opened. He leaned back onto his pillow and studied the man next to him. Harry's face was drenched in sweat, tears were drying on his cheeks, and his hair was in greater disarray than when he was awake—

"Sorry," Harry said, pulling Severus from his thoughts.

"What for?"

"For waking you. It's 2:30. You have to teach tomorrow and—"

"Harry, it doesn't matter. I chose to stay here with you. I knew the consequences," he smirked. Harry sighed. "What happened?" He asked with concern.

"It was a nightmare."

"Obviously."

"Well… I was on a date and the girl suddenly disappeared and… well… there was a Dementor there instead… I thought I was dying. Then there was laughing… I don't know who," he broke off and swallowed hard. The nightmare shook him more than others had in the past. _Why is this one cutting so deeply?_

"That's peculiar," Snape said slowly.

"Yeah," Harry said, he shivered and turned over onto his other side, facing away from Sev. Snape put his hand on Harry's shoulder. He inched back until he could feel Severus's chest against his back and sighed. _Shouldn't this feel weird?_ Harry asked himself. But found he was far too tired to care, and the feeling of security was too good to give up.

Snape woke around six to get ready for work. He cast a silencing charm over Harry's bed to not disturb him while he did his morning chores and prepared himself for the day ahead. As he scribbled a note to Harry, he checked on him. His breathing was even and smooth, his raven hair hung in his face. _He looks so peaceful. _Severus put the note on the kitchen table and left to go to breakfast. He wasn't looking forward to the day – the first class he would be teaching were first years.

Harry woke around ten. He pulled himself reluctantly from the bed and padded to the bathroom. After he had a shower and was ready to walk out the door, he noticed a note on the table.

_Harry,_

_I might not get a chance to see you before you leave, but I want you to know that I'm proud of you no matter what. I want you to be happy. _

_Severus._

_PS. Eat an apple they're going to go bad soon._

Harry laughed as he picked up an apple from the bowl on the counter. He bit into it as he thought about what he was going to do about training. _I can't go back there. Not now. _He sighed, trying to figure out how to tell Sev he was staying. At least for a while. He wrote a letter to Moody.

_I regret to inform you that I will be turning down the offer you have extended. I will not be taking the internship. Unfortunately, some private matters have become a bit more urgent than I expected. _

_My most sincere apologies,_

_Harry Potter_

He sealed the letter and sent it off with a school owl; Hedwig still busy with her new egg and all. Harry checked the time and realized he needed to get to the library to meet Alex. He took off toward the library with stunning speed.

**A/N: Sorry for the late update! Time keeps getting away from me in that way time does. If you noticed, I updated the description adding slash as a warning… Take that as you will. Sit back, and enjoy the ride… **


	8. Chapter 8: Library Love

Chapter 8: Library Love

Harry got to the library and took a moment to catch his breath before he started walking up and down aisles. He found Alex in the History section. "Hey," he whispered softly.

"Hi," she said sweetly and pecked him on the cheek. He blushed and looked at the book in her hands.

"'The Night of False Celebration'? Why would you want to read that?" Harry asked, knowing it was a book about the night Voldemort killed his parents.

"I wanted to know a bit more about you," she said hesitantly.

"Oh, well you can just ask, really," he added when she looked like she was going to protest.

"Okay," Alex said softly after a moment. "What was it like?"

"What was what like?" He asked, a little confused.

"Growing up with all this fame and glory. I mean I assume you are known by a ton of people you don't know and that has to be weird," she rambled for a while before he cut in.

"I actually didn't know I was famous. My aunt and uncle raised me and they were the worst sort of muggles," he said, quoting Minerva.

"Oh, I didn't know. What did they do?" She asked softly. He shook his head in response, not wanting to talk about it. Harry traced her jawline with his index finger.

"You're beautiful, Alex," he whispered. She leaned closer and smiled. "You really are." He pulled her closer and their lips met.

"You're only going to be here one more night…" she hinted quietly. He found he quite liked it when someone else took the lead. Harry smiled suggestively and she pulled him to the floor. His heart pounded as she crawled atop him and kissed his neck. He gasped as her hand found his cock though his pants.

"Isn't someone going to see?" Harry said breathlessly.

"No, I put up wards to warn us if someone's coming," she smirked.

"Oh," was all he could say as she took her robe and shirt off. He cupped her breasts as she straddled him. This wasn't the way Harry had pictured losing his virginity. He started to panic again, but one bite on his collar bone and he was subdued. "Silencing charms?" He asked in a harsh whisper.

"Of course," she whispered as she nipped his ear. He practically purred as she stripped him of his shirt and pants, leaving him in his boxers. Harry fumbled with the hooks of her bra for a minute before she reached up and took it off herself. His cock pushed hard against the fabric of his boxers. She stroked it as he planted kisses all over her body. He put his finger in the waistband of her panties and she winked at him. Harry slipped them off of her and looked up at her innocently.

"I've never done this before—" She put a finger to his lips and kissed him hard. Alex took off his boxers with her teeth, never breaking eye contact with Harry. It was fiercely attractive. "Alex," he whispered her name longingly. She smiled at him and took his cock in her mouth, he gasped. He felt a laugh hum through her throat as she sucked. Harry bucked his hips as he got closer and closer to his climax, but then the mouth was gone. He opened his eyes, _when did I close them!?_ And stared at her for a moment before she angled herself over him. They connected perfectly and she gave him the ride of his life.

By the end, they were both panting on the library floor, their clothes laying forgotten a few feet away. "That was fun," Alex breathed after a few minutes, her head on Harry's chest.

"It was," he agreed after a moment. He was still a bit shocked that Alex took charge.

"What's wrong? Did you not like it?" She asked in a timid voice, back to her shy nature.

"I loved it! It was brilliant," he assured her. She nodded and nestled her head back into his chest. Alex stood quickly and threw his clothes at him.

"Someone's coming!" She practically screamed. He stood and hastily put his clothes on, she was still straightening her robes when McGonagall rounded the corner.

"Miss. Lestrange! Why are you not in class?"

"Oh I was reading this," she said guiltily as she gestured to the forgotten book, "And then Harry came so I just started asking him questions instead because it was easier…" Alex trailed off.

Minerva sighed heavily, "Get to class." Alex nodded and ran off without a second glance at either of them. "Harry," she began, turning to him.

"Hm?" He looked up at her.

"Be careful with Alex, she's… a bit fragile," she said and left before he could respond.

Harry left the library too, mentally going over all the events that just occurred. He almost regretted having sex. _It was too soon. We hardly know each other. I didn't bloody know what to do when she was so confident. _He shook his head at his own stupidity. _She might regret it, hell, I might regret it. She—_ a deep voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"…refrain from speaking to Mr. Potter." Harry pressed against a wall and strained to hear the rest of the conversation.

"I told you, I was just asking him about his life," Alex said softly. "I didn't mean any harm."

"You haven't a clue in the slightest what he's been through!" Snape hissed. Harry wanted to run in and say she didn't do anything wrong but something in his mind told him to wait.

"I-I-I-I'm sorry." It sounded like Alex was crying.

"Go back to your classes," he commanded. She ran past Harry without seeing him and sprinted down the corridor. He walked into the room she'd just vacated.

"Harry," Snape said softly. "There's something we need to discuss."

_Shit._


	9. Chapter 9: A Little Chat

Chapter 9: A Little Chat

"Have a seat," Severus instructed. Harry fell into a chair that faced his desk. "I preformed Legilimens on Miss. Lestrange, just to figure out why she was missing classes. I couldn't understand her through all the sniveling. What I found was very…interesting."

"What did you find, sir?" Harry asked, feeling like a scolded child.

"Libraries, Harry, are for reading. Are they not?"

"They are, sir," he replied, his heart sinking.

"What are bedrooms for, Mr. Potter?"

"Sleeping?" He asked, avoiding the answer Snape wanted. Severus scoffed. "Other things….?"

"Indeed," he snapped. Harry's cheeks reddened as he stared at the floor. "Tell me, what did you think you were doing, Potter?!" She's a student!" He practically screamed and Harry looked around. "Silencing charms are a brilliant invention, aren't they?" Severus was irate, he took a step closer to him. Harry flinched. He stepped back again. "I'm not going to hurt you!" He hissed.

"I'm sorry. You… you saw what bloody happened! She took control! She forced herself on me! What the hell was I supposed to do?!" Harry yelled, trying to cover his fear.

"I don't know—PUSH HER OFF?!"

"I COULDN'T!"

"Are you trying to tell me that you, a wizard who took down one of the most powerful dark wizards of our time, couldn't push a seventh year girl off of you?!"

"It's a little more difficult when someone has their hand around your cock!" He retorted. Snape remained silent and Harry's cheeks burned when he realized what he said.

"I thought you were leaving," he said quietly.

"I turned them down. I wanted to stay with you. Honest," he added when Snape raised an eyebrow. Tears pricked at his eyes. "I'm sorry. I was scared and she seemed so nice and I figured she… I didn't think she would go that far. I regretted it as soon as she was gone. I'm such an idiot!" Before Harry knew what he was doing, he had drug his nails down the inside of his opposite wrist. Bloody gouges followed in their wake. Severus was behind him in seconds, holding his wrists behind his back.

"Relax Harry, relax," he whispered beside Harry's head, his anger momentarily forgotten.

"Shit. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Harry whispered before his body started shaking with sobs.

"It's okay—"

"You're the only person that I let see me like this. The only one. And I don't want to hurt you, I know this hurts you. You hate seeing me like this but you're the only one who gets it. The only fucking one who understands. I'm sorry I fuck up all the time. I'm sorry about Alex, I didn't think it would go so fast. I'm sorry you have to see me with my guard down—no one should have to live with that hell. I deserve to die—"

"No, you don't Harry," Severus whispered as he knelt in front of Harry. "You don't deserve death. I'm sorry I got so angry," he spoke softly with genuine regret in his voice. He took Harry's hands gently in his, still kneeling. "I'm glad I can be here for you, that's what people do. Don't worry about letting your guard down with me. Let me care about you, Harry."

The reply came after a long silence. "Okay," Harry said, leaning forward and putting his head on Snape's shoulder. "I'm sorry. How do I fix this?"

"Perhaps not socializing with Miss. Lestrange," Severus began.

"Sev… I can't do that to her. I mean we just…"

"Alright," he said, stroking Harry's back, "We'll figure something out, we always do," he whispered.

After a few minutes, Harry sat up and looked Snape in the eyes. "Thank you, I feel like I don't say it enough."

"You're welcome," he replied softly, standing. "Unfortunately, I have to teach in a few minutes, but I have something else I'd like to discuss with you over dinner. Care to dine with me in my quarters?"

"I'd like that."

"Good, I'll see you in three hours," Severus said as Harry walked toward the door.

"See you then," he said and left.

Harry had been roaming the halls for a while before he decided to just head back to Snape's chambers. On his way there, he ran into Alex. "You alright?" He asked. Her eyes were red and puffy, he knew she'd been crying but didn't want to say it outright.

"I'm okay. Snape was mad at me for being late to class," she admitted.

"Yeah, I mean you are still a student and studies come first." He almost laughed, Harry never thought he would hear himself say that.

"Right. When do you leave?"

"Actually, I'm staying. I was going to tell you in the library, but I got a bit…. Distracted."

"Oh. Well I guess that means I get to see you more, right?" She asked sweetly.

"Of course. But, can I ask a favour?"

"What is it?"

"Can we…. Take things a little more slowly?" He asked hesitantly.

"Oh, okay. I thought you liked it?" She said, pouting a little.

"I did but it was new for me and I don't like it when relationships move that fast," Harry admitted.

"Okay, I don't want to push you," Alex said softly. She scanned the hall quickly and kissed Harry passionately. He leaned into the kiss, it was electrifying. Her hand grazed his butt and he pulled away slightly. "Sorry," she muttered, and pecked him on the cheek. "I can't be late to my next class!" She called over her shoulder as she sped off. He watched her go, a sad smile on his lips.

He continued on his way to Snape's chambers, thinking about what he should do about Alex. It was clear that she wanted to take things faster than he did, but he really liked her and didn't want to lose her. Sighing when he reached the door, he whispered the password and stepped in. He crossed the room and poured himself some of Sev's firewhiskey. _I'm going to have to buy him a new bottle if I keep this up,_ he thought as he took a sip.


	10. Chapter 10: Advice

Chapter 10: Advice

The following day, Harry went to dine with the professors at breakfast. An owl deposited a letter at his place and took off before he could give her a treat.

_Harry,_

_I'm sorry to hear you will not be taking the internship. I took the liberty of speaking with my superiors about training you wherever is convenient for you. They agreed. Since you've learned all the bookwork, we will be sparing most of the time. I'll need you to prepare an area that is suitable to what we will be doing. _

_Moody_

_PS. Where the hell are you?_

Harry laughed, earning him a quizzical stare from Snape and McGonagall. "Moody wants to continue my training from here. Do you think that would be alright?" He asked Dumbledore.

"I think that would be lovely, Harry," he replied with a twinkle in his eyes.

"We need somewhere to spar."

"I believe the Room of Requirement is available," he said with a wink.

"Brilliant. Thank you, Headmaster." Dumbledore nodded and turned to Minerva to discuss something. Harry turned to Snape and flashed him a small smile. It was retuned and he visibly relaxed. Harry finished his breakfast quickly and left the hall, hoping to catch Alex before her first class.

He found her on a bench just outside of the dining hall. "Hi Alex," he said softly to not frighten her.

"Harry," she replied with a small smile. She looked around.

"He's not here," he said, knowing she was searching for the potions master.

"Oh, good," Alex said, pulling him into a hug, he returned it. "Would you like to go out tomorrow night? We could sneak to Hogsmeade or something…."

"I don't think sneaking about is the most brilliant idea. But I know a place we can go. Meet me here tomorrow night at seven, okay?"

"Alright," she kissed him quickly and hurried off to class. Harry retreated to Snape's chambers. He needed to write a letter to Moody and really wanted to be alone for a while. When he got there, he grabbed a quill and ink and made for his favourite chair. As Harry sat in a leather chair, he heard the crunch of paper in his pocket. He pulled out a slip of parchment and unfolded it.

_Harry,_

_I'm sorry I rushed things. I didn't mean to frighten you. Really, I just wanted you to know that I was willing to give you my whole self. I'm not that great at the whole dating thing. I've only had two boyfriends and one was really… Well he wasn't nice. I thought you were leaving and I figured you might have… found someone else while you were away. I figured if you did find another, at least I would have that one memory with you. Can you understand that? _

_Snape told me to not speak with you—the arrogant twat. But I don't think I can do that… You've been nothing but nice to me. _

_I really like you, Harry, and if you want to take it slow, I'm more than willing to try. I've never had a slow relationship though. Please be patient with me and I will be with you. _

_-Alex _

He read it a few times before setting it on the arm of the chair beside him. _How did she manage to slip this into my pocket? _He cursed himself for not being observant. It was imperative that he be in order to complete his Auror training. He shook his head and set the note down, not knowing what to think of it. Instead he took out a quill and wrote Moody:

_I'm staying at Hogwarts. Dumbledore said you're welcome to come and we've already found a place to train. Thank you for doing this for me. It means a lot_

_-Harry Potter_

The next note he should write was harder. He had just gotten her name scrawled on the parchment when Snape walked in. "Afternoon, Sev," he said lightly.

"Harry," he replied tiredly.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm exhausted. What are you working on?"

"A letter to Alex—" he stopped speaking when he noticed the death glare.

"Well, go on," Severus urged. He just wanted Harry to get whatever was bothering him off his chest so he could relax.

"Sev, I don't want to make you angry, you've already had a bad day."

"It's alright. Tell me. Perhaps I could be of service," he said sitting on the couch across from him. In response, Harry sat by Sev and showed him the letter. He read it and sighed. "As much as I despise the thought of giving you dating tips when your significant other is my student, I do have a suggestion."

"Which is?"

"Take her out to a nice dinner. Set up precise boundaries so no one gets hurt." When Harry looked confused, Severus explained, "Tell her what's going too far and she can tell you what's not enough." Potter sill looked like he had no clue what's going on. "You're a bloody idiot, you know that, don't you Potter?"

"Yeah. And I'm horrible at dating."

"You're not the worst," he said with a half-smile.

"Thanks, I guess. And back to what you were saying… do you mean if like, I'm only comfortable with a kiss and she wants sex, we should compromise with, like, say—"

"That's exactly what I'm saying," Severus cut him off, not wanting to listen to any more. Harry laughed and Sev shot him a look.

"What?"

"I don't care to hear about your romantic endeavours!" He exclaimed, trying to not smile.

"Fair enough. Where should I take her? We can't exactly sneak out."

"It seemed as though you already had a plan," Sev said smoothly.

"You heard me!"

"And saw the kiss," he said, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

"You followed me!" Harry said with mock anger.

"You simply need to keep your affection hidden when in the middle of the castle," he replied using his normal lecturing drawl.

Harry groaned. "Now you sound like your old self."

"Yes, about me being an 'arrogant twat'…" Snape said smirking.

"Oh yeah, I sorta forgot about that bit," Harry said laughing.

"It lets me know I'm still doing my job!" He laughed, putting his arm around Harry. He leaned back into the embrace of his potions master, enjoying his scent and the comfort his presence provided. "Getting all comfy are you?" Harry nodded, leaning deeper into his chest. "I have lessons to plan!" Severus complained in jest.

"They can wait," Harry replied softly, burrowing into the black robes.

"They can wait," Severus agreed as he shifted position to more comfortably hold Harry on his chest.


	11. Chapter 11: Panic

Chapter 11: Panic

Harry woke, still laying on Severus. He didn't want to move and disturb him, so he stayed there thinking. His heart raced as he thought of his serious dinner with Alex. Panic coursed through his veins, making him shake. He tried to steady his breathing, but he couldn't relax.

Severus felt Harry shaking against his chest. He woke and put his arms around him, hoping it could help him calm a bit. He turned Harry's head slightly, so the young man could hear his heartbeat.

Harry concentrated on his potion master's arms around him and the powerful beat of the other man's heart. He felt his breathing slow and his heart-rate decrease. "Are you alright?" the deep voice asked quietly from beneath him.

"I think so. Sorry for waking you."

"Nightmare?"

"No, just worrying about Alex. I don't know how she'll take…boundaries. She's already having a rough time with what I told her about taking things slow."

"Harry…"

"I know, I know. You don't really want to get involved because she's a student."

"That wasn't what I was going to say."

"Oh."

"I was going to suggest that… perhaps Alex is only after the… more physical side of relationships."

"So she's going to get bored with me?" He asked sadly.

"Again, quit putting words in my mouth."

"Sorry."

Severus dismissed his apology with a wave. "Listen to what I'm saying and don't interrupt me." Harry nodded. "If Alex is only after sex, she might not be the girl for you," he said softly.

Harry sighed. "I know, but I have to try to get it to work. Right?"

"No, you don't have to, but if you want to, I'll be here for you. Alright?"

"Okay," he replied.

"Now that that's settled, let's have breakfast."

"Brilliant!"

After breakfast, Harry headed to the potion lab, hoping to catch Alex before her class. He was in luck, she was just about to go in the door when he caught her eye. "Harry!" She whispered excitedly.

"Alex," he whispered, trying desperately to keep the anxiety from his voice.

"What are you doing here?" she asked quizzically.

"I wanted to invite you to dinner."

"I thought you said you didn't wanna sneak out?" She questioned. There confusion in her tone, but a suggestive smile on her lips.

"I know, but we don't have to sneak out. I know somewhere we can go. If you're interested." She made a soft noise of joy and hugged him. He cleared his throat. "Not here, Alex!" Harry whispered, afraid someone important would see.

"Oops, sorry," she whispered, a little smile on her face. He smiled back and nodded to her.

"Meet me here at six, alright?"

"Okay!"

_6:00 pm._

Harry stood in front of the potion lab in a tux. He bounced on his toes as he waited for Alex. _What if she doesn't' want to see me because she thinks I'm breaking up with her? But she seemed so happy this morning… _Questions and fears plagued him until he heard the click of heels on stone. Alex appeared before him in a matter of seconds. She was wearing a long teal dress that shimmered as she walked. He looked down at her feet to see black, four-inch, heels strapped on her feet. "Sorry I was late, I was doing my make-up and time got away from me."

"It's okay," he replied, visibly relaxing.

"Where are we going?" She asked, smiling and biting her lip. _I love it when she does that, _Harry thought, remembering the first day they met. _She looked so shy and cute. Now… I know what's inside. _The thought made him shiver and she looked at him with concern.

"Just the chill of the dungeons," he replied nonchalantly, offering his arm. She took it and he led her to the Room of Requirement. When he opened the door, both were shocked to see what lay before them.

A black marble table with curving, black, metal legs stood in the middle of the room. Two chairs sat to either side. The room was lit by a chandelier of candles, hanging on an elegant, black chain. On the table sat two plates of chocolate cake. "I guess we're skipping dinner," Harry remarked.

"I suppose so. But dessert is the best part," she replied excitedly as he led her to the table. Harry pulled out the chair for her, being the gentleman he was. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said, falling into his chair. They ate their cake in silence until Harry spoke again. "Alex, this is more of a… serious date." Confusion made its way across her face. He regretted his inability to ease into conversations but spoke anyway. "I…um… I wanted to talk to you about boundaries."

"Boundaries?" she asked innocently.

"Yeah. I um… I thought it might be a good idea to talk about what we expect from each other so that…" He trailed off not knowing how to word what he was trying to say.

"Why don't you want to sleep with me again? I knew you were lying when you said you liked it!" Alex yelled before she pouted. _Now I know what Sev felt like earlier. _

"I wasn't lying! I just don't want to do it again for a while!" His body crawled with disgust at the thought of feeling her against him again. Everything about this night suddenly felt wrong. He backed up from the table, trying to think of a logical reason to leave when he heard an owl outside the door. "Excuse me," he said, sprinting to the door. When he opened it, he found a school owl staring back at him, a letter attached to its leg. He untied and read it within a matter of seconds.

_Harry,_

_My office. NOW._

_S_

Harry turned to Alex with worry in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I have to go," he said apologetically, not trying to keep the fear from his voice.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked, incredibly concerned. Her anger was momentarily forgotten. But it sparked again when he spoke.

"I don't know. I have to go. Alone," he added as she stepped forward. "I'll make this up to you!" He cried as he dashed out the door.

Harry sprinted to Snape's office. He didn't knock when he arrived, just threw the door open. It slammed behind him as he jogged to Sev's desk. The man was staring at a vial with great concentration. "What is it?" Harry asked softly, trying to not alarm him.

"It's Alex."


	12. Chapter 12: The Truth

Chapter 12: The Truth

"It's Alex," Severus repeated.

"What about her?"

He set the vial down and looked Harry in the eyes. Sighing heavily, he spoke. "The rising Dark Lord isn't a Lord at all. She's a Lady."

"No," Harry whispered, shaking and stepping back. "No!" He didn't want to believe it.

"Harry…" Severus said, standing and walking closer to him. He closed the distance and clung to Snape's robes. His head was spinning as he tried to grasp what he had done.

"I—we—I didn't know and she… We…" He started hyperventilating and sobbing uncontrollably.

"Shh." Sev rubbed Harry's back as he clung to him for dear life. "It's okay. We all make mistakes. I pledged my life to the last Dark Lord and look what happened to me!"

"But you didn't fuck him! He wasn't a bloody student! You didn't date him and develop feelings for him—" Snape cut Harry off before he made himself too upset. He was too late.

"Please, please try to calm down, Harry," Severus pleaded. Harry pushed him off, feeling bile rise in his throat. He backed up and slipped to the floor, head in his hands. His head was still spinning and a storm of emotions brewed inside him. Harry didn't know if he wanted to cry or scream. He curled into a ball, hugging his knees to his stomach and rocking slightly. The feeling of her against him echoed through his mind. He could feel her hot skin against his cold frame, it frightened and sickened him. Harry started scratching at his neck and arm, trying to claw the feeling away, it wasn't working. Severus watched in horror as Harry stood, still scratching, and ran at the wall.

"GET OFF ME!" He screamed at what appeared to be empty space beside his bleeding arm. Harry violently threw himself at the wall and floor before Snape got his bearings and sprinted over to the young man.

"STOP!" He yelled, trying to get him to snap out of it. Harry scratched the front of his potion master's robes, blind to the world. All he saw was Alex atop him, trying to have her way with him once more. Harry punched, scratched, and kicked until Snape finally cast an immobilizing spell on him. "I'm sorry, Harry," he whispered as the young man twitched on the floor, fighting the spell. Slowly, his fidgeting stopped and he relaxed, falling asleep on the floor of Snape's office.

Severus watched as Harry slept, not knowing if he should wake him or wait. He decided on the latter, asking the house elves to bring him coffee to assist him in remaining awake. Five hours passed before Harry's eyes flickered open. "Sev?" He asked, confused and dazed. Harry could feel dried blood on his arm, side, and neck. "What's going on?" He inquired, realizing that he was on the floor.

"I was going to ask you the same thing…" Snape replied, a bit frightened. His hand shook with fear as he set his coffee on the table

"I think Alex was in my head," he stated with a shaking voice.

"Relax, Harry, stay relaxed." Harry nodded as Severus walked over to sit with him. "That isn't good, though," he commented, pulling Harry onto his chest. The young man relaxed hearing Snape's heartbeat.

"How… How did she do that?" Severus cleared his throat. He had a vague idea of how some nasty dark magic worked and didn't want to scare him. "What? What do you know?"

"There are some… spells… binding spells… That involve… intimacy… to work," he replied awkwardly.

"What did she do to me?!" Harry cried. Snape pulled him closer to him, stroking his hair.

"Shhh, I'd have to do some research, but I have a few ideas."

"Such as?"

"Since she can…. Enter your mind—or so it appears," he added when Harry looked absolutely terrified. "It limits the number of spells she used. Unless she is as powerful as the Dark Lord was—which is highly unlikely," he continued. Severus sighed, "I'm not helping, am I?"

"Just shut up for now," Harry said, leaning into him, tears streaming down his cheeks. Snape put his arms protectively around the man in his arms. "See," Harry said sleepily, "This is how to comfort someone."

"Hmm." He pulled him even closer and gave his hand a quick squeeze. It was returned. Harry didn't sleep but too comfort in feeling Snape's arms about him. "Harry?" Severus asked after two hours.

"Hm?"

"We need to work on Occlumency."

"Five more minutes," he mumbled into Sev's chest. Snape sighed heavily and shifted to a more comfortable position.

"You're not sleeping," he noted aloud.

"So?" The sleepy voice said. "You're a good pillow." Snape scoffed but let him lay there for a few more minutes.

"Alright, up!" He commanded softly. Harry pushed himself off of his old professor and sat across from him on the concrete.

"What do we do?" He asked quietly.

"We begin lessons." Harry groaned.

"Now?"

"Now."

"This is just like bloody school," he complained, trying to cover up his fear with jokes and sarcasm.

"Come on, Potter," Severus grumbled, standing. Harry stood as well and sat in a chair actoss from Snape.

"Alright, let's go," Harry grunted.

Severus entered Harry's mind with no problem. Memories flew past him: _Snippets of Quiddich games, Ron and Hermione laughing, Alex smiling at him suggestively, her shirt fluttering to the ground, her forcing herself onto him. _Snape pulled back before he saw things he didn't want to see. "You haven't practiced at all, have you?"

"I haven't really had much time!" Harry retorted, frustrated with himself more than anything else.

"Again," Severus instructed. This time he was met with a bit of resistance, but pushed through with shocking ease. Harry's memory of losing his virginity to Alex played out in full. Severus planned to pull back but he could feel Harry fighting and wanted to give him a chance. He was only in for a few seconds before Harry successfully pushed him out.

"Was that necessary?!" Harry nearly yelled. He was irate that Snape watched the entire scene.

"It made you do what needed to be done," he replied. Harry stood and stalked about the office, trying to cool off before he sat in front of Severus again. "Sorry," he grumbled, his cheeks a deep red.

"I should apologize as well. I should have found a different memory."

Harry shrugged and tried to prepare for Snape to attack again, it never came.

"Shall we try again tomorrow?" Severus asked cautiously.

"Sure, but… I'm terrified," Harry admitted.

"As you should be," he commented, not knowing what else to say.

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

"Of course," Severus replied confidently. He was starting to like the idea of having someone next to him all the time.


	13. Chapter 13: So Beautiful When the Boy Sm

Chapter 13: So Beautiful When the Boy Smiles

Harry woke before Severus; he realized with great joy that he'd slept all night and Alex hadn't bothered him. A smile spread across his face as he snuggled closer to Snape, curling into him. He breathed in his scent, a mixture of spices and herbs, coffee, and something sweet… _chocolate? Vanilla? _It was hard to tell with the accompanying scents. Harry gave up on guessing the sweet thing and just relaxed. He could feel Severus's strong chest muscles against his cheek, they were flexed even in his sleep. Harry put a hand to the other man's stomach, curious as to whether or not the man had abs. He was surprised to find that he did. _I never pinned him as one to be so fit. _Thinking back to his days at Hogwarts, Snape always seemed to be intimidating and skeletal, never muscular. _But never someone with whom you'd want to duel,_ he thought with a perplexed scowl. He removed his hand and shifted to a more comfortable position.

The movement woke Severus. He opened an onyx eye and stared at the raven hair brushing against his chin. It appeared as though Harry was unaware that Severus was awake as he, ever so cautiously, pressed a hand to Snape's ribcage. He could feel each individual rib and was shocked to find that he liked the feeling. Harry traced his own ribs with his free hand, comparing their bone structures. It was odd, their ribs both had numerous dents in various places. Harry knew his were from the Dursleys, and assumed Snape's were from the Dark Lord. He ran his hands over their ribs once more, marveling at the fact that the material of his shirt made it feel as though there were no scars. He took his hand away and put it comfortably beneath him. "Finished committing my form to mind?" Severus's low voice inquired, making Harry jump.

"I… um… uh…"

"Very eloquent today," he noted, his smile echoed in his voice.

"I thought you were still asleep," Harry said lamely. He could feel Snape laughing beside him. "Oh shut up!"

"Make me," he challenged. Harry just swatted at him, hitting him softly in the chest. They laid there for a few minutes before Severus asked Harry if he wanted food. His stomach rumbled in response, sending Harry into a fit of laughter. Snape chuckled a bit.

After breakfast, the two started working on Occlumency. Several failed attempts at blocking his old professor later, Harry called for a break. "What tell hell am I doing wrong?!" He practically screamed.

"I'm right here," Severus said calmly, walking closer. "You're not doing anything incorrectly. You just need more practice." Harry huffed but agreed to a few more rounds before lunch.

On the last try, Severus had quite a bit of difficulty entering his mind. When he did, he was confronted with awful memories. Images of razors, knives, scars, cuts, and blood assaulted him. Snape pulled back early and turned away from him. "S-s-sorry?" Harry said softly, not knowing if it was his fault or not.

"Don't apologize, Harry. I knew they were there and figured I would see them eventually," he replied shakily. Taking a deep breath, he tried to steady himself. It didn't matter how many times he saw memories like that, he always felt sick afterward. Additionally, they were a bit triggering for him. _It's been Twenty-five years and I still want to—_

"Come on, let's go eat, you look dreadful," Harry said, interrupting Snape's thought. He looked at the younger man gratefully and followed him to the kitchen.

Severus picked at his food. He wasn't particularly hungry, but didn't want to cause Harry unnecessary worry. "Are you alright?" Harry asked him after nearly half an hour of silence.

"I'm fine," he replied smoothly, keeping all the fear from his voice.

"Well if you're sure… ready to get back to the lesson?" Severus nodded as he stood. He knew had to push past his pain and fear to help Harry. _It wouldn't be the first time,_ he thought bitterly. They made their way back to the room and began again.

After countless tries, Harry was finally able to keep Snape out for a full five minutes. Both collapsed on the floor, covered in sweat, and breathing heavily. "Well… Done… Potter," Severs said between ragged breaths.

"Thanks," he replied in a similar fashion. "Can… we call… it … a day?"

"Yes," Severus said, rolling onto his back. Harry stood and walked over to him. He offered a hand, which Snape took, and pulled him to a standing positon.

"Do you want to shower first, or can I?"

"You may," he replied, still unsteady on his feet. Harry led him over to the couch before making his way to the bathroom.

Once they were both clean and Severus had drank an Invigorating Draught to get some strength back, they made their way to the Great Hall to have dinner with the other professors.

"Mr. Potter!" McGonagall exclaimed as he walked to the table. "So nice of you to join us!" He smiled in response and took his seat beside Snape. Harry listened to her tell numerous stories about her students before he realized that Severus missed all his classes to teach him. He tried to appear as though guilt didn't just shoot through his heart, but his face betrayed him long enough for one of his previous professors to notice.

Severus saw a look of realization cross Harry's face, quickly followed by a flicker of guilt. He wanted to ask what he'd just remembered when a thought occurred to him. _I was supposed to teach today. Shit._ He glanced at Dumbledore, who appeared to be very interested in Minerva's story about a particularly bright young witch. He tried to get the elder man's attention but only succeeded in spilling Harry's goblet. A quick swish of the wand and the mess was gone. Severus gave up and quickly scribbled a note to the Headmaster, explaining why he'd neglected his classes. He gave it to a school owl with the instruction to leave the castle and come back before it delivered his letter. It did as told. When Dumbledore received the note, his eyes twinkled in the way they always did. The elder wizard gave Snape a small smile before tucking the parchment in his pocket and turning back to the conversation at hand. Severus scanned the Slytherin table and found Alex staring up at him with an evil smirk. His face betrayed no emotion, but terror flared in the pit of his stomach. Losing his appetite, he waited until it was polite to excuse himself from the table and just hoped Harry would follow his lead. Fortunately, he did.

When they returned to his chambers, he immediately asked Harry what was wrong. "I um, I felt bad about making you miss all your classes… I didn't really realize it until dinner…" He said softly.

"Don't worry about it," he replied. "Your only concern should be Alex."

"She stared at me most of dinner…"

"And?" Severus pressed, feeling as though there was more. He was correct.

"And I felt this need to be by her… This pull… as though she was willing me to kiss her… I was nearly unable to resist, but then you stood and... well, here we are." This new development worried Snape more than he was willing to admit. _Though, it does further narrow the possible bonds used…_ Severus thought.

"I see," was all he could say before his voice cracked.

"What is it?" Harry asked worriedly. Severus replied by sitting on the couch and motioning for Potter to sit beside him. He complied and leaned into the dark robes, inhaling deeply. Severus pulled him closer, as close as he could possibly be. _I will protect him. No matter what,_ he silently told himself with steel resolve, as he stared at the man in his arms. His heart leapt into his throat as he thought of losing him. Harry smiled up at him, completely content now that he felt safe in Snape's embrace. Severus smiled back, an odd thought in his mind. _He's so beautiful when he smiles. Did I just call him beautiful? _


	14. Chapter 14: Here We Go Again

Chapter 14: Here We Go Again

The following day, Severus woke early. He pried himself from Harry's tight grasp, careful not to wake him. His heart thundered in his chest and blood pounded in his ears as he thought about the possible bonds Alex used on Harry. He went to his library and started pulling out books he had about bonds. After three hours of reading, Severus was only slightly closer to figuring out what Alex had done to Potter. There were a couple banned bonds that had some similarities:

_Death's Desire- A bond that can only be created through sexual intercourse. This bond forces the non-caster to bend to the will of the caster. The non-caster will feel compelled to engage in various sexual acts with the caster when eye-contact is made. The non-caster will be unable to resist compulsion. The non-caster will always feel the touch of the caster when caster is not present. If the non-caster is away from the caster for too long, he or she will perish (for death becomes a better option than living another second without the caster). Bond is created using a wand and physical contact._

_Master Bond- A bond that a master can use on a slave. Forces slave to comply with Master's will. Slave can feel anything should the master desire it. Feelings can range anywhere from the gentle touch of the master to the pain of Crucio. Slave becomes obsessed with master, will not rest unless master orders them to do so. Bond is created using a wand. _

Severus leaned back in his chair and rubbed his temples. He could feel a headache coming on and wasn't in the mood to teach. _None of these bonds fit exactly, _he thought as he exasperatedly ran a hand through his hair. Finally, he gave up and left to go to breakfast.

Harry rolled over in bed, onto Snape's side. He inhaled the scent of the other man and smiled as he snuggled deeper into the pillows and slept for another hour. When he woke, he realized Severus was gone. _Where would he be? _Harry checked the time. _7:02, maybe he's just up early, _he reasoned as he got out of bed. He took a shower and made his way to the kitchen; but something stopped him. The library was torn apart; there were books everywhere. They littered the floor, were scattered about the table, there were even a few open on the mantle. "What the…" he whispered to the emptiness. Harry ran out of Snape's chambers, panic engulfing him. _What if something happened to Severus? Shit! _He smacked into a wall and heard a snap. Pain exploded through his face, but he ignored it. He ran to the Great Hall and found it empty, save for a few dallying students. "Dammit," he muttered under his breath. Harry changed directions and ran back to the dungeons, heading for Snape's classroom. Before he reached the door, a familiar blonde intercepted his path.

"Harry," she whispered.

"Alex, I really don't have time for this," he hissed; his fear getting the better of him as scenarios of Snape dying played out in his head.

"I was only going to ask what—" before she could finish her sentence, Harry pushed past her and threw open the doors. The class of fifth years turned in their seats to see who came in with such haste. Snape, however, stared in horror.

"What. Happened. Potter," he asked through clenched teeth.

"Thank Merlin, you're okay," Harry said, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Yes, but are you?" He asked quietly, slowly striding to Harry.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Severus turned him to face a mirror. His reflection stared back at him with a look of shock. Blood poured from his nose; it was splattered down the front of his gray shirt and was quickly forming a puddle on the stone floor beneath him. "Oh," was all he could say as he reached a hand up to touch his now-crooked nose.

"Don't!" Snape snapped and Harry's hand fell. "Go to the hospital wing. I'll meet you there," he whispered as he started to walk away. Harry shot out a hand and grabbed Snape's robes, all the while praising some higher being that none of the students could see his hand. "Yes," he drawled in a whisper.

"Alex was outside when I came," he replied softly, letting go of his robes. Severus growled. "Sorry?"

"Don't apologize. Take a seat over there," he gestured to a stool in the back corner, spelled the doors closed, and walked to the front of class to continue his lecture.

Harry watched as the fifth years attempted to brew their potions. It turned into a game for him. _Those two, _he thought, _are Ron and me. And that's Malfoy, _he noted as Snape nodded at the potion before him. A cauldron across the room exploded. "Twenty points from Gryffindor!" Severus sneered as he approached the smoldering remains. _Seamus_, Harry decided as he tried to hold back a laugh. Eventually, the lecture ended and the students filed out. Harry stood shakily for a few minutes before he fell back onto the stool. "Are you alright?" Severus asked as he briskly made his way to Harry.

"I um… I thought so?"

"Is your nose still bleeding?"

"A little," he said as he pressed his hand to it.

"Put your arm around my neck," he instructed. Harry did so and Snape pulled him into his arms.

"I didn't think you'd want to get caught carrying someone, Sev," he teased.

"Don't make me drop you, Potter," Severus replied with a smirk. "And no one will see us," he said as he slipped into one of the teacher passage ways.

"So this is how you got to the classroom so quickly," he marveled.

"Of course."

"Huh," Harry said, wondering if this was on the Map.

"What?"

"Nothing, just thinking how useful this would have been when I was a student." Snape snorted. Harry's head started spinning.

"Are you okay?"

"I don't…. I don't know, I think—" he blacked out.

"Potter? Potter?!" Severus harshly whispered. He quickened his pace, making it to the Hospital Wing far more quickly than he thought possible.

"What is it Severus?" Poppy asked, staring at the bloody bundle in his arms.

"Potter, who else?" He tried to speak sarcastically, but his fear made him sound hysterical.

"Set him on a bed," she directed. He did so then stood awkwardly beside the bed awaiting further instruction. "You may go now," she said softly.

"What's wrong with him?"

"I'm sure it's just blood loss," Poppy replied, patting his hand. He shook his head and sighed.

"It's never that simple with him. He might be under the influence of a dark bond," Severus admitted.


	15. Chapter 15: Carry Me Home

Chapter 15: Carry Me Home

"What?!" Poppy practically roared. Severus stared at her in silence, allowing her to digest the information. "What do you mean 'might'?"

"We, Potter and I, are unsure as to what type of bond it is, though I suspect it falls into the category of a dark bond," he replied slowly, sadness creeping into his tone.

"And do you know who is to blame for this?" She asked as she gave Harry a blood replenishing potion and stopped his nose from bleeding.

"Yes," he said reluctantly after a few minutes of silence.

"Who?" She inquired as she waved her wand, changing Harry into a white hospital gown. "Severus," Poppy said warningly when he didn't answer.

"Alex Lestrange," Snape whispered. Madame Pomfrey gasped.

"Is the headmaster aware?"

"No."

"I'll floo him," she said as she walked closer to her office.

"Wait!" He knew he needed to stall. _I don't want to be the one to inform the headmaster that Potter shagged a student. _

"Yes?"

"What about Potter? Is he going to be okay?" Severus didn't try to hold back the fear in his voice. He truly was worried about Harry. Poppy walked over to him and led him to a chair.

"Sit here, Severus, I'll only be a minute," she said patting his hand. When Madame Pomfrey returned to her office to make the fire call, Snape rushed over to Harry's bed.

"Harry, please wake up. Please," he begged. Severus didn't notice it when he intertwined his hand with Potter's. He also didn't notice the tears running down his face as he thought about the possibility of him dying. "Please," he whispered as Poppy returned.

"The headmaster is on his way—What's the matter?" She asked him, seeing the tears on his cheeks. He cleared his throat and ran a hand down his face, drying the evidence of his pain.

"Nothing." She gave him a look that told him she didn't believe him, but didn't press the issue.

"Sev?" Harry's voice was barely audible.

"Yes, yes, I'm here!" He said quickly, giving Harry's hand a squeeze.

"She's in my head again," he whispered before he fainted again.

"Shit."

"Alex?" Poppy asked, having watched the whole scene play out before her.

"Yes," Severus said, sighing heavily.

Before she had a chance to respond, Dumbledore came in. "I came as soon as I could," he said addressing the two who were standing. "How is he?" Harry heard Albus's voice and decided he was interested in the conversation. The blackness of unconsciousness kept creeping toward him, but he kept it at bay.

"Not well," Snape replied, casually letting go of Harry's hand.

"Poppy said something about a dark bond?" He inquired, his brows furrowed.

"Indeed. Potter might be connected to Alex Lestrange through a dark bond. I've searched many of the books in my chambers and none of the bonds in those sound anything like this."

"What do you know about exchanges made between Miss. Lestrange and Mr. Potter?" Severus shifted uncomfortably at the question and made no indication of answering. "Severus?" Albus prodded.

"They met in the hall when Lestrange dropped her books and Potter picked them up for her. Their friendship evolved into something more…" he trailed off, not wanting to explain.

"Yes?" The headmaster pushed.

"Eventually the two engaged in some… scandalous behaviours…"Shock flashed across Albus's face and any twinkle in his eyes vanished.

"Are you trying to tell me they had sex?"

"Yes," he said slowly.

"This is very serious indeed. Why did you not inform me before?" The elder wizard asked sternly.

"I figured I could handle it myself, seeing as it deals with dark magic," he replied, feeling like a child getting scolded.

"I understand you are a proud man, Severus, but sometimes you need help," he said softly. Snape nodded and looked over at Harry. Madame Pomfrey had covered him up as the men spoke.

"What can we do?" Severus asked helplessly.

"I'll do some research. In the meantime, stay with him." Albus said looking from Poppy to Severus.

"We will," she said before he could open his mouth.

"Headmaster?" Harry said softly. All three jumped and turned to face him. None of them knew he was awake, nor for how long.

"Yes, Harry?"

"I'm sorry for liking Alex. I guess I learned my lesson."

"There is nothing to apologize for, my boy. Love knows no bounds." Harry nodded sadly and looked at Snape.

"I'm sorry. I should have listened to you." Severus smiled sadly but said nothing on the matter, he was just elated that Harry woke and appeared unharmed.

"You said she was your mind?" Snape asked him.

"Yeah. We were just talking in a room. She tried to get me to come talk to her in… real life?" He asked trying to think of the correct word. The three nodded, urging him to continue. He did. "But I told her 'no'. It was a long process. We argued a lot… Do you think that's why I fainted? Do you think I fainted so that she could talk to me?" He asked, rephrasing his question.

"Perhaps," Dumbledore replied, thinking. Severus looked displeased.

"Sorry," Harry said again, looking at Snape.

"Stop apologizing, dear" Poppy said softly. She hated to see anyone in pain.

"I'm not angry with you, Harry," Snape said softly, taking Harry's hand again.

"Okay. I'm scared," he admitted. His mind was still foggy but he was slowly collecting his thoughts.

"Me too," Severus said as he knelt beside the bed. "But we're going to figure this out. We're going to help you. I promise." Neither Severus nor Harry could see the smile on Albus's face, nor the twinkle in his eye. "Please try to shield your mind."

"I'm trying but it's draining," he whispered.

"I know. But the more you do it, the safer you'll be and the easier it'll get." Harry sighed and smiled a little.

"Harry, could I ask you for some memories?" Albus inquired.

"Sure, which ones do you want?"

"Any one of them containing Alex." Harry sighed as he picked up his wand, calling forth all his memories of Alex. He put his wand to his temple and extracted copies of the desired memories. Severus handed him a vial and he put the shimmery substance in it. He handed the vial to the headmaster, not looking him in the eyes.

"Harry, you needn't be embarrassed," Dumbledore said gently, stowing the vial.

"Okay," he replied, feeling like a child. Desperate to find a better conversation, he spoke up again. "Is there any way that I can just stay with Severus? Quite honestly, his chambers are a bit more comfortable than here, no offence Madame Pomfrey."

"Please, call me Poppy. And that can be arranged. Just be sure to come back here should any problems arise."

"Will do," Harry said happily. He tried to sit up, but was immediately dizzy and fell back onto the pillows behind him. "Sev?" He asked, pleading for help. Snape put his arm around Harry and lifted him into his arms, just like he did to bring him to the infirmary. Albus smiled at the two of them. Harry turned his head into Severus's chest and inhaled deeply, relaxing knowing he was safe.

"If that's all, we will be on our way," Snape said, turning.

"I'll speak with you tomorrow, Severus," Albus called after him. Harry smiled up at his potions master.

"Thanks Sev."

"I'll always be here for you, Harry," he said as he carried him back to his chambers.


	16. Chapter 16: Disamorezen

Chapter 16: Disamorezen

Harry was asleep before Severus made it back to his chambers. He set him gently in his bed, tucking him in before he left. He went into his library and poured himself a glass of firewhiskey. Snape slowly sipped the liquid and pondered what to do about Harry. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but he was falling for him. _This is the absolute worst time for me to like him,_ he thought bitterly. Before he had time to think on it more, his eyelids flickered closed and he fell asleep.

The hours ticked by, both men unaware of time passing. Around 3am, Severus was awoken by a _woosh_ and the tell-tale glow of green flames, alerting him to a visitor. He grabbed his wand and stood, facing the fireplace. Silhouetted before him was none other than Dumbledore. Snape exhaled slowly and lowered his wand, his expression of fear quickly melted to a glare. "Headmaster. To what do I owe the pleasure?" He growled.

"I'm sorry to disturb you at such an hour, my boy. But I think I might have discovered the bond between Harry and Alex," he replied in a whisper.

"Go on," he drawled.

"I believe it to be a Disamorezen bond."

Severus gasped. "No…" He breathed. "No!"

"I didn't think they were possible either," Albus replied gravely.

"What can we do?" He allowed the fear to bleed into his voice.

"What does a Disamorezen bond do?" Asked a third voice, making the other two jump.

"Harry, when did you wake?" Severus asked.

"When I heard him come in."

"I'm sorry to wake you with such bad news, my boy. It seems as though Alex has used one of the darkest bonds imaginable."

"What does it do?" He pressed, looking at Snape.

Severus opened his mouth to speak but found he was unable to do so. Albus answered for him. "I'm not entirely sure if it is this bond—"

"Just tell me," Harry interrupted coldly.

"He has a right to know," Severus choked.

"This particular bond allows you free will as long as Alex permits it. But it gives her access to your mind regardless of the shields you use. She can force you to think or feel however she sees fit if she is making eye-contact. Alex can use the bond to speak to you through your mind. She can use it to make you feel her beside you—" before he could finish, Harry turned and sprinted to the bathroom. He curled into a small ball in front of the toilet, crying. The fear took over him and he heard her voice.

"_Don't be scared Harry. We could be together. A team. We could rule the wizard and muggle worlds. As one. Our children would be more famous than you_ ever were—"

"Stop! Please stop it Alex! Please!" Harry begged.

"_But I don't want to," she pouted in his mind. "I want you to love me."_

"I barely know you!"

"_You know the pleasure I can bring. You know the scared little girl I can pretend to be, innocent and sweet—"_

"But I have an idea of who you really are. Normal people don't force relationships on people who don't want them."

"_You had to want it when I administered the bond. Remember the day at the Library? How you felt when you were inside me? I was everything to you," she purred. _

"How? How did you create the bond?" He demanded, not wanting to think about their relationship.

"_How? Silly little boy, you wouldn't understand how!" She cackled. _

"Tell me!"

"_I'll explain it in simple terms, then, since you're so adamant you learn," Alex said, smirking. "I started brewing the potion part of the bond when I learned that you visited the school on random occasion. The time came that I'd need something from you. You had to willingly provide me with something like sweat or saliva. The first day I met you, you handed me my books; you provided me with sweat. Did you know your hands were sweaty? I immediately took a book to my potion and added it after lunch. The next step was simple. I needed to add a combination of our saliva. We kissed the night you walked me back to the dungeons."_

Harry cried on the floor as he listened to her explain how she was able to create the bond. He couldn't hear Severus as he sat beside him. Nor did he feel his touch when Snape cradled him in his arms. All he could do was listen to Alex.

"_The next step was trickier. I needed your scream. I didn't think it would be too hard. So I entered your dream. You wouldn't understand how I collected a sound, don't worry your little head about that one. Anyway, that was the final ingredient to the potion. All I needed after that was you… and of course my wand. You made it easy. Again! I suppose I should thank you. You needed to drink the potion before having sex with me. Remember when I sucked you? You tasted awful by the way. I poured the potion slowly down your throat. I doubt you even noticed. You know what happened next. Then, while you were screaming in ecstasy, I was chanting the incantation… The spell was the final thing that made the bond complete." She paused to laugh at his stupidity. _

"GET OUT OF MY MIND!" He roared.

_Alex felt herself getting pushed back. "This isn't possible!" she screamed as she became smaller and smaller in his mind until she disappeared completely. _

Harry opened his eyes and found himself in Snape's arms. He was rocking him gently and murmuring things Harry couldn't quite understand. "Sev," he said softly. The rocking stopped as Severus looked down into the emerald eyes.

"Harry," he breathed, holding him more tightly.

"I forced her out of my mind. She'll be back, but she's gone for now," he said quietly. Snape pressed his lips to Harry's forehead.

"You're okay for now," he whispered. "I'm here, Harry."

Dumbledore watched the scene unfold from the doorway. He looked at Harry in Snape's arms and a sad smiled crossed his face. It vanished before Severus looked over.

"How can we destroy the bond?" He asked the elder wizard.

"I haven't discovered that yet," he replied sadly. Harry sagged into Severus at the news, but Snape stayed strong.

"We will fix this," he whispered as he cradled him closer. "I promise."


	17. Chapter 17: I Think I Love Him

**A/N I'm so sorry this is late! I was in the process of moving and then school started! I'll try to update more! I promise! Thanks for sticking with me, lovely humans. **

Chapter 17: I Think I Love Him

Hours passed before Severus and Harry got off the floor. Snape suggested food but Harry turned it down, claiming he was too tired to eat. He went into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Severus was left alone with his thoughts. _Damn old fool. He should have waited to tell us until he had a solution! Potter's bloody terrified. I'm terrified, _he thought weakly. _Powerless. I was powerless against the Dark Lord, I'm powerless against Alex. What the hell am I good for anyway? _His thoughts drifted back to Occlumency with Harry. More specifically, the time he got through and was confronted by razors and blood. Severus sighed as he pushed his sleeves back and looked at his scarred arms. He longed to feel the blade again, even after so many years of being clean. His gaze fell on Harry's door and he angrily shoved his sleeve back down. _I have to be strong for him, even if not for myself._ He pushed himself off the couch. A glance at the time told him that he'd been sitting around thinking for an hour. Severus quietly pushed open Harry's door and found him crying in his sleep. He made his way around the bed and rested his hand on Harry's back. "Shh, don't cry. I'm here. It's going to be alright," he whispered softly. The young man's sobs quieted and he drifted back into a seemingly peaceful slumber. Severus tried to see into Harry's mind, to learn what he was dreaming, but found only blankness. He smiled to see that Harry had learned to guard his mind in his sleep. Severus turned to leave, but when he got to the door, something stopped him. He felt a pull to Harry, one he couldn't resist. Snape grumbled to himself about "stupid care and emotions." But quickly fell into bed bedside Harry and wrapped him in his arms, sleep claiming him at once.

Harry woke first. He stared at Severus as he slept, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath. _He looks calm and happy in his sleep. Unguarded… _The last thought gave Harry and idea. He tried to see if he could see into Snape's mind, but found it more heavily guarded than he thought possible. _Damn, he's good, _Harry thought with a smirk. He rolled over and smiled as Snape opened his eyes sleepily. "Good morning handsome."

"Sucking up, are you?" Severus said softly.

"For what?" Harry asked as innocently as he could.

"For trying to see my thoughts."

"You noticed, then," he inquired, his cheeks flaming.

"Indeed. C'mere you little shit," he said, a smile tugging at his lips. Harry snuggled closer so Severus could put his arms around him.

"You're a big sweetie, you know that?" He mumbled into the black robes. Snape growled softly. "Oh hush, you know it."

"And if you tell a damn soul—"

Harry erupted into a fit of laughter, "I know," he said between giggles. Severus rolled his eyes, but allowed himself a small smile. The sound of Harry's laugh was irresistible.

"Come on, let's get breakfast," he whispered in Harry's ear.

"But we've only just started getting all snuggly," he complained in jest.

"Come on! UP!" Severus said as he stood, holding Harry in his arms.

"Merlin, you're strong," he whispered. Snape smirked as he set him on the ground and made his way to the kitchen. "You know you're still wearing your robes from yesterday, right?" Harry asked snarkily, as he padded after Sev.

"Hm, I guess I am," he noted absentminded as he cracked eggs into a bowl. Severus shrugged off his outer robes and stood before Harry in a black T-shirt and jeans.

"Just like before," Harry stated.

"You expected me to change?"

"No, it's only been a few years," he joked. Severus pulled his shirt off, revealing his flat chest and stomach. Harry starred at the porcelain body before him, taking in every inch of the man before him. HE noted how Snape's ribs stuck out, each screaming to be noticed.

"You're leering," he said as he walked to his room to change. Harry tried to look away when Snape commented but he couldn't. His eyes followed the sleek form until it disappeared. Severus shut the door behind him and reemerged a few minutes later in what appeared to be the exact same clothes. "I see you haven't moved," he observed as Harry tried his best to correct his posture. He looked at everything and but Snape. However, he couldn't get the sight to leave his mind. "Something on your mind Potter?" He drawled, his voice like silk.

"You," he choked out before he could stop himself. Severus smirked triumphantly as he served Harry his eggs.

"Alright, eat," he commanded after he sat. Harry picked up his fork and scooped some egg onto it. HE didn't notice when they fell from the utensil and into his lap. Severus suppressed a smirk. "Potter, your gawking is very unbecoming." This snapped Harry back to reality.

"Shit, sorry," he said as he tried to get the egg off his pants. Snape waved his wand and they were clean. "Thanks. I really need to remember that one…" Harry said laughing.

"It's a simple cleaning spell," he replied in a lecture monotone. Harry groaned.

"Not that again," he said under his breath.

"What?"

"You speak in this monotone when you lecture. It's literally the hardest thing to listen to. EVER!"

"Hmmm."

"What?"

"Is it as boring when I do this?" He asked as he kissed Harry on the cheek.

"No," he replied, blushing.

"Brilliant," Severus said with a smile. A genuine smile. _That smile could destroy his entire reputation,_ Harry thought as he wrapped his arms around Sev's neck. "What do you think you're doing?" He inquired.

Harry wrinkled his nose. "Nothing when you've got egg breath!"

"And you've got morning breath, eat your damn eggs!" He said as he cleared his dishes.

Harry laughed and finished his breakfast before Severus could distract him again. _I think I love him, _Harry thought.

_I love him, _Severus thought as he watched Harry clear his own dishes. _I'll love him forever. _


	18. Chapter 18: The Quill

Chapter 18: The Quill

The next few days passed in agonizing slowness. Finally, Moody arrived; a break in the monotony. (Though, neither Snape nor Harry found their cuddling time the least bit boring.) "Potter," a scratchy voice said from behind the professors table. Harry turned around to find himself face to face with Alastor Moody.

"Moody!" He exclaimed, offering him a hand to shake. Severus sneered at the interaction.

"Alastor, always a pleasure," Dumbledore said as he rose to greet the man.

"Alright, enough," Moody said gruffly after most of the professors had greeted him. "Potter, we need to get to your training, straight away." Harry smiled at Snape before he followed his new instructor to the Room of Requirement.

Severus felt a pang in his chest as he watched Harry go. He knew it was irrational, _I'll see him at dinner for Merlin's sake. _But he couldn't ignore the fire of love smoldering in his chest. It infuriated him. _I shouldn't love him… He'll never love me. At least not with Alex contorting his thoughts and mind. Alex—_"Severus?" The sound of his name pulled him from his terrible thoughts.

"Yes, headmaster?"

"You should be teaching." Severus stood calmly and proceeded to his classroom. When he got to the dungeons, he could hear the chatter of students awaiting his lecture.

"Silence," he hissed as he entered. The students did as told, though he decided to chastise them for being loud moments ago. "The dungeons aren't meant for raucous laughter you bumbling idiots! They are a place to learn about potions and— Miss. Lestrange, what do you think you're doing?" He growled.

"Nothing Professor, just taking notes," she replied innocently.

"Whose blood is that?" Severus inquired as he stared at her pen in horror.

"No one important, sir."

"Hand it over," he commanded, holding out his skeletal fingers. She gave him the quill, a stubborn glare etched in her eyes. "As I was saying…" He continued as though nothing was out of place; as though his mind wasn't spinning as he considered all the things she'd already written with Potter's blood.

Harry and Moody had been sparring for a few minutes before Harry felt a slight burn in his back. He shook his head and kept fighting for another fifteen minutes before Moody stopped. "C'mon," Harry encouraged. "You never give up this easily." He was panting from exhaustion and was absolutely drenched in sweat.

"You've not been practicing."

"When have I had the time—ACK!"

"Potter! What is it?" Moody asked as he rushed to Harry's side.

"My back," he choked as he ripped off his shirt. The man beside him gasped as he watched bloody words appear on his skin.

"Those have been banned from the school!" He growled as he watched the writing continue.

_Harry Potter, Harry Potter, when will you see?_

_I own your body and mind, you belong to me._

_Harry Potter, Harry Potter, give up, be mine,_

_What fun can you have when we're not intertwined?_

_Harry Potter, Harry Potter, let go and give in,_

_This is one battle I know you will never win._

_Harry Potter, Harry Potter, think now, think fast_

_The Dark Bond I made was created to last._

_Harry Potter, Harry Potter, you must not tell lies_

_If I were you I'd start saying your goodbyes. _

It stopped there, ending ominously. Harry craned his neck to see what had his instructor so started when the man grabbed his head and forced him to look ahead. "What it it!?" He begged as Moody looked away.

"Nothing, Potter. Ready yourself," he grunted as he raised his wand. _Let the sparring continue, I guess, _Harry thought bitterly.

Severus sighed with relief as his last class of the day filed out quickly. His thoughts raced as he tried to figure out what Alex would want to engrave into Harry. An idea struck him. He took out the quill and his wand. Snape cast a spell at the feather and it started writing in the air. He read the poem quickly before waving his wand and making it disappear. Severus spelled the door closed and put his head on his desk, not wanting anyone to see him cry. Sobs shook his body as he thought about living on without Harry. _First Lilly, now this. Why can't I have untainted love? _He scoffed at his own question. Severus knew he was being irrational, but he was in too much pain to care. He wanted nothing more than to take the strong young man into his arms and cradle him; to let him feel the safety he needed and desired as a boy but never got. It was a bit late for Harry, and he could admit that, but at least The-Boy-Who-Lived would know what love felt like. _HARRY! _His thoughts screamed. _How could I have forgotten?! I hope he's alright. God dammit Severus, you idiot – he just had words seared into his flesh, of course he's not okay! _He shook his head in pure anger and sprinted to the Room of Requirement. When he arrived, he found it empty and ran to the headmaster's office. He threw open the door without knocking and found McGonagall and Dumbledore in the middle of a heated debate. "Where is Potter?" He hissed.

"I believe he is training with Alastor," Albus said softly.

"They aren't in the Room of Requirement," he stated flatly.

"Perhaps they retired early," Minerva chimed in. Severus crossed the room and threw the quill down on Albus's desk.

"Or maybe Potter is in danger," he said darkly, as he cast the same spell on the feather as he did before. He watched as the twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes was replaced by the glisten on fear. "I'll check my quarters, he might have gone there looking for me to treat the wound," Snape said as he left a dumbfounded Dumbledore and silent McGonagall in his wake. He walked to his chambers at a brisk pace. As he opened the door, he heard crying. Harry's room door was open. "Harry?" He asked as he leaned against the young man's doorframe.

"Sev?" He asked tearfully.

"Yes, it's me," he replied in a whisper as he walked over to the shuddering boy.

"How?" Harry inquired as he lifted up his shirt and showed Snape the eerie poem on his back.

"I don't know Harry," he said, defeated. "I just don't know." Severus climbed into bed next to him and pulled him into his arms. "Shh, you're safe here," he whispered as he stroked Harry's hair. The two fell asleep in each other's arms, too exhausted to care about much else other than the security they felt in that moment.


	19. Chapter 19: Good Morning

Chapter 19: Good Morning

Severus woke first. He noticed that Harry and thrown off the blanket in his sleep, exposing his back for Snape to read. "Accio Salve," Severus whispered. He gently traced the letters on his back with the salve—hoping that it would at least take the burn away. Bitterness flooded through him each time he read the words. _Harry is mine,_ he thought protectively as he looked at his sleeping angel. Severus ran his fingers through his love's scruffy black hair, enjoying the feeling. Harry opened an eye and turned over to face Snape.

"Morning," he mumbled, pulling himself onto Sev's chest.

"Good morning," he replied softly, trying to slow his pounding heart.

"Your heartbeat is so fast… mmm but I guess mine is too." Harry was still mumbling—he was too asleep to make any real sense. "I really like you. I mean I know I shouldn't and all, but I really do.

Severus thought he was dreaming, but everything was far too real to be a dream. "What did you say?"

"I said I like you. Like right now, I really wanna kiss you but my morning breath is awful," he replied sleepily as he awkwardly pulled himself up to Severus's face and pecked him on the lips. "Like that, but more. Hehe, real Snape wouldn't let me do that."

"Real Snape?"

"Yeah, you're just a dream Snape," he said matter-of-factly.

"What if I told you I am real Snape," Severus asked, his heart racing faster. Harry smiled and his eyelids fluttered closed again as he fell asleep once more. Snape sat there, cradling Harry on his chest, his mind racing. He didn't know what to do now that he knew Potter's true feelings. Severus didn't move so as not to disturb his sleeping angel. Finally, three hours later, Harry woke again. "Morning," Snape said when he opened an emerald eye.

"Good morning," he yawned and nuzzled into Sev's chest. "What time is it?" He inquired softly.

"Nearly ten," he replied, sounding uninterested.

"Don't you have classes?" Harry mumbled.

"I would if it weren't Saturday," he smirked.

"I had the best dream."

"Did you? What happened?"

"Nothing special. You were there."

"And I'm nothing special?" he asked, feigning outrage.

"Nah you're special. I just don't think you'd find it all that interesting."

"Try me," he challenged, smirking again.

"Well, in my dream, it was morning. A lot like this really. And you were just rubbing my back because it stung so badly from the burns—or whatever they are. Then you ran your hands through my hair and it just felt nice. I loved it, actually. Your heart was racing, kinda like it is now—are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Sev assured him as he desperately tried to relax.

"Okay. Well then I told you liked you and I kissed you. But I told the dream you that he wasn't real Snape and he seemed a little—sad or something. Then I think he asked 'what if I am real' and I laughed because he couldn't be," Harry finished, trying to hide his sadness that the dream was over.

"Harry…" Severus started slowly, carefully choosing his words.

"What? What's wrong?" He panicked and sat up straight.

"Nothing. I… you… weren't dreaming," he said softly.

"I-I-I wasn't?"

"No…"

"Oh Merlin… I said that out loud? I talked in my sleep?" His cheeks reddened as he spoke.

"Harry—"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said—"

"Harry!—"

"—Anything. I should—"

"—Harry!"—"

"—Have taken dreamless sleep—"

"HARRY!" Severus nearly screamed. Harry seemed to snap out of his panic. He stared blankly into the onyx eyes before him, studying them intently—searching for an answer. Snape inhaled deeply. "I like you too," he whispered. Harry didn't believe his ears.

"You like me?"

"Yes, I like you," he said more confidently.

"I like you too," Harry replied as he laid his head on Sev's chest again, somewhat dazed. Severus put his arm around him, careful to not touch the marks on his back. "What happens now?" He asked quietly.

"Now, we get breakfast and you go to training," he replied, ruffling Harry's hair.

"I don't wanna," he groaned. Severus chuckled and got out of bed. He went into the kitchen and started breakfast for both of them. As he was setting the table, Harry trudged in sleepily.

"I made French toast," Sev said as he took his seat. Harry perked up a bit and increased his pace to the table.

After breakfast, the two of them got dressed and walked to the Room of Requirement. They didn't pass anyone on their way, all of the students were still asleep. When Harry walked through the door, he found himself facing a very pissed-off Moody. "Potter, you're late," he growled. Severus shot him a glare, but said nothing. He took his leave and made his way to Dumbledore's office.

Harry faced Moody, determined to prove himself when they sparred this time. He took a sharp blow to the shoulder, but hit his trainer hard in the shin. Moody growled as he aimed a curse at Harry, who deflected it with ease. It was harder to concentrate when fighting physically and with magic.

Severus entered the Headmaster's office without knocking. Albus greeted him all the same. "Ah, Severus, do come in. What's troubling you, my boy?

"We need to stop Miss. Lestrange from hurting Potter further. This has gone on long enough."

"You know I'm working on it, as are you." Guilt stabbed Snape. True, he'd been working hard to help Harry, but he'd also allowed himself to be distracted by the very person he was trying to help. "Perhaps Alastor could offer something of use?" Albus suggested. Severus shot the man a glare. "I know you dislike him, but there is more at stake than your hatred of the man. What has he done to you, Severus?"

"He has done nothing to me, sir," he growled. _Of course he did something, you old fool! He failed to stop the Dark Lord in time to save Lily. _

"If you say so. Go speak with him," Dumbledore said as he turned his attention back to the papers on his desk. Severus stalked to the Room of Requirement. When he opened the door, he found Harry and Moody sparring. One of the spells rebounded and hit Severus in the stomach. He staggered back and leaned against the doorframe.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked as he put himself between Snape and Moody, acting as a human shield.

"Fine," Severus managed. Harry deflected fifty more spells and punches before Moody decided a break was in order. As soon as the old Auror lowered his wand, Harry slumped to the ground in exhaustion.

"What brings you here, Sev?" He asked between heavy breaths. For a minute, Severus's mind slipped to an image of them fucking and Harry breathing even more heavily, but in a far more intimate state. He shook his head to chase away the thought. _Control yourself! _He scolded.

"I'm here to speak to Alastor," he replied more bitterly than he intended. Moody looked over with a glare.

"Alright Severus, what do you need?"

"Potter is under the influence of a dark bond, Disamorezen, to be exact. Are there any known cures?" He asked quietly.

"Disamorezen?!" Moody growled angrily. Harry flinched on the ground and involuntarily inched closer to Severus, who was just inside the closed door. "How the bloody hell did you get involved with that, Potter?" He roared.

"I –"

"He was tricked. A young witch, by the name of Alex Lestrange, forced it upon the unsuspecting idiot." Harry was relieved that Snape spoke for him, but it hurt a bit that he'd called him an idiot.

"Dammit Potter," Alastor grumbled under his breath. "There is one known cure, Severus."

"What is it?" Snape demanded, hope rising in his chest.

"It's a potion, right up your alley, I suppose. The ingredients are the harder part of the matter. Also, it's required to get the minister's permission to brew and administer the potion."

"How long does it take to brew?"

"Do I look like a potion master to you?" Moody grumbled. "I'll owl the minister tonight. You'll have your answer by tomorrow at noon. For now, I need to continue training Potter."

"Thank you," he replied. "I'll see you at dinner," he said to Harry. Severus left, shutting the door with a small click. He made his way quickly to the dungeons. The students started flooding into the halls, talking about their weekend plans. Severus closed his chamber doors and walked to Harry's room. He missed the peaceful presence that filled his cold chambers when Harry was around. Snape closed the door to Potter's room and fetched a book from his library. He sat on a leather couch and read, trying to pass the hours until dinner.


	20. Chapter 20: Permission

Chapter 20: Permission

Dinner finally came and Severus pulled himself from the chair. He trudged through the castle and made his way to the great hall. Students parted before him, not wanting to get in his way. He sneered at them as he passed, anxious to speak with Harry. Snape saw him as he entered the hall. He smiled and waved from the Professors' Table and Severus hastened to the seat beside him. "Hey Sev," he said softly.

"Harry, how was training, it seemed brutal," he practically whispered.

"It was hell, as usual," he mumbled back, ignoring the grunt he got from Moody.

"You can only blame yourself," he replied, smirking.

"Oh shut it," Harry said as he stifled a laugh. He reached over and grabbed a roll, it was the only thing Severus had seen him eat so far during dinner. It worried him.

"Would you like to go back to my chambers? I can't promise I have—"

"Yes," he said quickly, standing. Severus rose as well and they took off. Once they reached his chambers, Harry sat at the kitchen table and drummed his fingers.

"Is something bothering you, Harry?"

"No… Well yes, but no."

"Care to elaborate?" He prodded, cautiously.

"I can still feel Alex, it's like she's hovering over my mind—she isn't in it. I can just feel her there, like she's waiting to pounce. The training makes me so weak… I'm afraid she'll be strong enough to break through my barriers again. That stupid bond…" He trailed off, panic taking over. Severus came up behind him and put his arms around Harry.

"Don't think like that," he whispered into the black fringe. "I'm here. Do you want to practice Occlumency again?"

"Not really," he laughed.

"Of course not. You hate it."

"But I don't hate you," he mumbled, turning his head and pressing his lips to Sev's.

Severus was slightly surprised but returned the kiss. He parted his lips slightly as he felt Harry's tongue flick against them. The next thing he knew, they were on the couch, and he was staring down into beautiful emerald eyes. His knees rested on each side of Harry's hips and his hands on the other man's bare chest. He could feel him shaking beneath him. "Why are you shaking?" Severus asked, genuine concern in his voice.

"I-I'm not," Harry replied in a whisper. He wanted Snape and he knew that, but he was scared. His mind raced back to the day in the library with Alex. For a moment, he was there again, looking into her eyes, wanting to give her the pleasure she desired from him. The sickening sensation of her touching him rose to the surface of his mind… He shook his head and the memory faded. Harry could feel Severus above him once more as his surroundings returned. But He was still afraid of giving himself to someone else. Harry swallowed loudly, staring into the onyx eyes.

Snape slowly got off of him and sat on the floor beside the couch. "I suppose I got a little carried away," he said softly. His mind was racing. _You're an idiot. A bloody idiot. Of course he's going to be afraid of physical affection after Alex,_ he scolded himself.

"No, I was the one who started it. You just followed my lead," Harry replied innocently. "Don't beat yourself up over this," he added when he noticed Sev's pained expression.

"I should have thought it through," he said sadly. _I'm supposed to be the prepared one. I'm not supposed to act without thinking,_ he thought bitterly.

"Hey, hey," Harry said, caressing Snape's cheek. Severus covered his hand with his own. "I'm just not ready yet. I had a flashback," he spoke softly.

"I'm sorry, do you want to talk about it?"

"There isn't much to say, my mind just flickered back to the Library…" he trailed off distractedly and Snape watched him closely, ready to assist him should he go into a panic. "Severus, what's on my back?"

"What?" He asked, slightly confused.

"My back, what did Alex write on it?"

_Of course he still doesn't know what she wrote. Damn, why do I have to be the one to tell him? _Severus took a deep breath and stood. He went into his room and returned with a sheet of parchment. Snape held it out to Harry with a shaking hand. He looked up at the older potions master with a quizzical look and slowly took the parchment. Severus watched as he read it, his eyes widened in shock and horror as he sat straight up on the couch. Snape sat beside him and put a hand on his back. "I'm sorry," he said when Harry dropped his hands to his sided and the parchment fluttered to the floor, landing face down.

"I… Is it visible? I mean there are tons of other scars on my back…" he trailed off, not wanting to think of his past abuse.

"Yes," he replied, sighing. "I'm sorry."

"Can you… trace them? The words, I mean."

"What?"

"Trace the words, let me feel where they are."

"Okay," he said softly, bringing his hand to the top of the scarring. As Severus traced the words with his skeletal index finger, Harry closed his eyes and focused on the placement of the words, and Snape's cold touch. "That's where it ends. I should have noticed what she was doing sooner, Harry—"

"Stop blaming yourself. It's my fault, honestly!" He added when Severus looked as though he was going to argue. "Come back?" Harry asked, patting the couch next to him. Snape sat and put an arm around him.

"What do you want to do while we wait for the minister's approval?" He asked softly.

"I don't care. Just being with you is enough. Please don't leave me alone," Harry pleaded quietly.

"I won't." Severus leaned back on the couch and Harry followed, laying his head on the black robes. He could hear Snape's heartbeat, a strong, steady rhythm. It lulled him to sleep. When Severus realized Harry was snoring, he Accioed a blanket to cover the both of them. He fell asleep shortly after.

Before they knew it, someone was knocking on the door, Severus sprung off the couch, jostling Harry awake. "Put something on!" He whispered as he crossed the room. Harry grabbed his shirt, pulled it over his head quickly, and tried to appear as though he'd been reading a book on healing. "Ah, Moody," Severus began as he opened the door, "to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"The minister fire-called to tell me to tell you to start brewing the damn potion."

"Thank you, will that be all?"

"Yes," he growled as he turned to leave. Snape shut the door and sauntered back to Harry.

"Would you like to accompany me to my lab?" He asked, holding his arm out to him.

"I'd be honoured," he replied, taking the other man's arm.

**A/N: Guys, I'm incredibly sorry this is late. It isn't intentional. Univ is crazy. **


	21. Chapter 21: Brewing the Potion Night One

Chapter 21: Brewing the Potion, Night One.

As they made their way to Snape's lab, Harry asked, "Didn't Moody say the ingredients are hard to get?"

"He did," Severus replied as he spun around and Harry let go of his arm. "I'll be back," he said, sprinting back toward his chambers. Harry stared after him. _Good thing we took a professor corridor, _he thought as he watched the potion master run. A smile graced his face as he listened to Snape's footsteps echo off the walls. Harry looked around the stone corridor and sadly thought back to his time as a student. He thought about how he should have treated Ron and Hermione better. Regret flooded through him as he slowly slid down the wall. He pulled his knees to his chest and concentrated on the feeling of the rough, cool stones against his back—trying to reassure himself that they were fine.

The sound of Snape's return distracted him from his thoughts. Harry pulled himself off the floor just as the man approached with a book in hand. "Almost forgot this," he practically whispered.

"You had the recipe this whole time?" He inquired cynically.

"No, Alastor gave it to me," Severus said, a little defensively. He was slightly hurt that Harry would think he would hide it from him. Before he let his emotions get the better of him, he reminded himself that Harry was terrified and anxious to be freed from the bond.

"So do you have all the right ingredients for it?" He asked hopefully, looking up at the potion master with glistening eyes.

"I have what we need for tonight," Snape replied cryptically as he started walking toward the lab again. Harry kept pace beside him. "Are you alright?" He noticed that the emerald eyes held tears.

"I'm fine, just started thinking about Ron and Hermione. I haven't spoken with them in a few months," he said nonchalantly, trying to hide how much it hurt.

"I see. You should write them. Perhaps they could come for a visit?" Even though Snape never really cared for Granger or Weasley, he hated seeing Harry in pain. He knew it had to be hard for him to nearly lose his two best friends.

"Really? You wouldn't mind it if they came?"

"As long as you don't expect me to hang about, it shouldn't be a problem."

"Why don't you like them?" Severus remained silent and Harry spoke once more. "Is it just because Hermione is a bit of a know-it-all and Ron… well… is bad at potions?" He prodded.

Snape sighed, "I suppose it has a bit to do with that, yes. But they also hurt you. And while they apologized, I occasionally worry they aren't good for you," he said softly, hoping to not anger Harry.

"I understand. Normally I would love for them to come, but I don't want to tell them about the bond until we've fixed me—er, it." Snape nodded as a single thought echoed through his mind;_ Harry still fears appearing broken to his friends. _

They finally reached the lab and Severus disappeared to his stores to grab what they needed for the brew this evening. Harry fetched a cauldron and sat, waiting for Snape to return. When he did, his arms were full of jars of varying sizes and shapes. Harry raced over to help; he took about half of what Sev was carrying and set it gently down on the table. "We really need all of this?" He asked, inspecting a vial containing some-sort of black sludge. He grimaced as he set it back on the table.

"Indeed," Snape replied as he went over the recipe for the hundredth time. Sev started the potion and within minutes it was a glowing green colour and gave off a powerful aroma of mint. He stirred it clockwise for twenty minutes before cleaning up the workspace. Severus put away the ingredients that he'd finished using, while Harry watched—afraid of messing something up. He knew how finicky potions could be. Snape came back and sat on a bench beside the younger man. "It takes at least five days to brew, then it has to cool for two. In a week, the bond should be broken," he said in a tired voice.

"Thank you," Harry said, leaning into him. Sev put an arm around him and stroked his hair. "If you keep that up, I'll fall asleep," he mumbled. Snape just smiled as he stared absentmindedly at the ceiling. He wished this moment could last forever; that he wouldn't have to face the world again. Everything that was important to him was falling asleep in his lap. Harry looked up sleepily with a small smile. "Should we go back to your chambers?" The potion master nodded and stood. He stepped closer to the cauldron to check on Harry's cure once more.

Severus stared into the potion, watching it simmer. A tear rolled down his cheek, he wiped it off quickly, before it fell into the brew. Harry put an arm around him. "You know, it's okay to cry, Sev," he whispered. The Snape snorted softly. "What's wrong?" He shook his head and continued to study the cauldron before them. He waved his wand and levitated their creation to a secure cupboard.

"We'll need more ingredients soon," he said quietly as he levitated the remaining cluster of jars and vials to a different cabinet.

"Are these the 'hard to come by' ones?" Harry asked, taking notice that Severus hadn't told him what was bothering him.

"Yes."

"How are they 'hard to get'?" He inquired.

"I'll tell you in the morning," he replied, putting an arm around Harry and steering him to the door.

"Alright," he agreed, leaning into Severus as the man led him back to his chambers.

Once they were back, Harry sleepily shuffled to his room out of habit. Severus followed him to the door and opened his mouth to bid him goodnight, but Harry stopped him. "Stay with me?" He asked innocently. Snape smiled, Accioed a pair of sweatpants, and entered, closing the door behind him. Harry changed, crawled into bed, and smiled when Severus followed suit. He snuggled close to the potion master, enjoying the security his warmth provided. Harry laid his head on Snape's chest and was lulled to sleep by the steady beats of Sev's heart.

Severus sighed once Harry had fallen asleep. His mind was spinning; in a effort to calm it, he closed his eyes and concentrated on his breathing. _Inhale, exhale, inhale, exha—What if I can't save him? What if I'm too late? What if the cure doesn't work? I can't lose him._ Snape fought the urge to cry, fearing he would wake Harry. He really didn't want to worry him further. Sinking back into the pillows, Severus focused on Harry's breathing; he could feel the warm exhales caress his chest and hear the soft whisper of his inhales. "Please don't stop loving me if I fail," he begged the sleeping Harry. As if to answer, Harry's hand closed around the potion master's and a smile came to the sleeping angel's face. Snape's heart raced for a mere second as he looked at the smile. He closed his eyes and committed the feeling of Harry's hand in his to memory.


	22. Chapter 22: A Special Sunday

**A/N: Sorry I let two weeks go by. As usual, university is insane. But I've recently received bad news and I've been having a few medical issues. I'm trying hard to update on time. Love you all, thanks for bearing with me.**

Chapter 22: A Special Sunday

Severus rose and followed the scent of bacon to the kitchen. He found Harry bent over the stove with a number of pots and pans in front of him. Not wanting to disturb him, Snape retreated to the table and watched as the young man flipped pancakes bacon, and omelettes. When everything was finished, Harry poured two glasses of juice and served them both. He kissed Severus's cheek as eh set the plate before him. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"I did. What about you?"

"Yeah, I slept pretty well," he replied as he took a bite of his pancake. Severus smirked as he ate some of his omelette. "How is it?" Harry asked nervously.

"Perfect, just like you." Snape smirked as Harry a genuine smile broke across Harry's face. "You act like I don't praise you," he scoffed.

"Well….. You're still making up for being a complete arse when I was a student."

"If I was a 'complete arse' would you be here right now?"

"I suppose not," Harry said as he walked over to him.

"What are you—" He cut Severus off with a gentle kiss. Harry nuzzled into the potion master's neck and sighed.

"I love you," he whispered softly, stroking the man's hair.

"I love you too… but where is this coming from?" He asked, astonished that Harry said it first. Severus's heart was racing; even though he knew the Gryffindor loved him, it was very different to hear the words spoken aloud.

"I heard you last night… When you thought I was asleep... Nothing will make me stop loving you," Harry said seriously as he looked into the onyx eyes. Severus caressed his cheek as he stared back and tears pricked his eyes; but none fell. He pulled Harry to his chest and held him there, silently.

After a few minutes, they separated and Harry returned to his place at the table. "You said you'd tell me about the ingredients that we still need…" He said softly.

Snape sighed, "I suppose I did." Harry gestured for him to continue. Instead of speaking, he handed him a list.

_From both Alex and Harry: hair, blood, tears, saliva, sliver of nail _

_Dragon: 3 claws, vial of blood, 6 scales_

_Phoenix feather_

_2 Black rose pedals_

_Pure Silver Knife_

_3 Eyes of newt _

_8 Spider legs_

_1 Frog tongue_

Harry read the list and handed the parchment back to Snape. "Do I have to drink that?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Shit, how do I drink a knife?"

"You don't; it dissolves."

"Oh. Great," he replied sarcastically." Severus smirked as he started clearing the table. "I can do that," Harry offered and picked up his own plate. Snape smirked challengingly and picked up another dish. The Gryffindor started grabbing as many things as he could carry and walked briskly to the sink. He gently set his arm-load in and turned on the water. Harry was almost hit in the face by a glass as he turned to go back to the table. Severus smiled as he waved his wand and the remaining dishes followed the glass to the sink. Harry picked up a rag and threw it at the potion master. "Magic is cheating!" He protested.

"Since when?" He cocked his head innocently. Harry burst out laughing; the sight of Snape trying to look innocent was too much. Severus crossed the room and wrapped Harry in a hug. "Shut up," he whispered in his ear. It only made the Gryffindor laugh harder.

"You… you… you can't…. can do the… whole… innocent thing!" He managed between laughs. Snape smirked and pulled Harry closer. He looked down into the joy-filled emerald eyes with a softness only the man before him could bring out. "You're better at the serious, intense thing," Harry said seriously. "I like that."

Severus smiled slightly and Harry snuggled into him. "I like this," he replied as he ruffled his hair. Tears fell from Harry's eyes as he looked up. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing… I just… what did I do to deserve you?"

"Clearly you had too much fun in school to end up with someone as cynical as I am," he said softly.

"Sev," he complained with a smile as he rolled his eyes.

"If it's escaped your notice, I'm not particularly optimistic."

"No, but you are mine," he replied and nuzzled him. Severus guided Harry's hands to his neck then put his hands on the Gryffindor's waist. He started humming and swaying slowly. Harry leaned against him lightly and followed his lead. Eventually, Snape's sways turned into steps and the two were dancing around the kitchen. He spun and dipped Harry as they rounded the table. The emerald eyes met onyx and smiles lit up both their faces. Severus pulled Harry back up and the two spun until they ran into the couch. They landed on the leather beside each other and their laughs echoed through Snape's chambers. Harry laid his head on Severus's chest and listened to his heartbeat. "This is my favourite place to lay," he whispered.

"Why?" He inquired.

"Because I like listening to your heart and breathing. It makes me feel safe. And you have a specific scent. Everyone does, but yours is the best," he said simply.

"And what do I smell like?"

"Herbs, spices, coffee, and something else, it's sweet, but I don't know exactly what it is." Severus nodded and took a second to concentrate on what Harry's scent. "What, you haven't tried to figure it out before," he asked with feigned offence.

"I know I enjoy your scent, though, I've never attempted to figure out what it is."

After a few moments Harry asked, "Well, what is it?"

"Rain and mint."

"Rain? I smell like rain?"

"It's quite lovely." Harry looked skeptical and Severus continued with a smirk "The next time it rains, I'm taking you outside." The Gryffindor snuggled closer to him as he nodded. Snape put his arms around him and rubbed his back.

"Mmm, can we never leave?"

"I don't know about 'never;' but we can stay for a while."

"Good."


	23. Chapter 23: Ingredients and Incidents

Chapter 23: Ingredients and Incidents

"So how do we get these next ingredients?" Harry inquired. Three hours had passed but he was still laying atop Severus on the couch.

"I'm going to Knockturn Alley later for the dragon blood, claws, and scales, rose pedals, spider legs, frog tongue, eyes of newt, and silver knife," he said idly as he stroked Harry's hair.

"That sounded like everything," he replied softly.

"I need you to get the Phoenix feather from Fawkes. Of course, you're also responsible for giving me the things I need from you…"

"Right, hair, tears, saliva, blood and... What's the last thing?"

"Sliver of nail."

"Oh yeah," he replied with a sigh. Harry lazily traced his fingers along Snape's chest and ribs, as he thought about the potion. His chest swelled with hope while he entertained the idea of getting out of Alex's clutches. _At least Voldemort didn't intentionally link us,_ he thought bitterly. Harry forced himself to concentrate on the muscles and bones beneath his fingertips. He focused on how Snape's chest contracted and expanded with each breath, and each heartbeat thudded like a gentle drum. They stayed like that for a while longer before he asked, "How do we get the things from Alex?"

Severus barely heard the question, he was buried deep in his own thoughts. He looked down at the messy black hair and shook his head sadly. _I haven't the slightest clue, but I can't tell him that. _Snape sat up, he didn't want him to hear his heart speed as the panic set in. Harry followed suit and noticed the pain on the potion master's face. "I haven't figured that out," he finally said, defeated. Harry nodded and stood. "Where are you going?"

"To get that phoenix feather," he said matter-of-factly.

"In your pajamas?" He asked with one eyebrow raised.

"Of course!" Harry replied with a sheepish smirk before he changed direction and slipped into his room.

Severus smirked and shook his head as he stood to do the same.

The two said their goodbyes in front of Snape's stone fire-place. Harry watched at the man disappeared with the green flames before he made his way to Dumbledore's office. The castle was fairly empty, as most of the students were at Hogsmeade. He found himself before the gargoyle guarding the headmaster's office. _Shit, Sev didn't give me the password. _Harry started guessing. "Lemon heads… Chocolate frogs… Jaw breakers… ummm…. Come on…. Lemon sorbet… Chocolate gelato? Sugared plumbs?" The gargoyle moved to allow him access to the stairs. He found the phoenix on his perch, grooming his wings. "Hey Fawkes," Harry said softly. He chirped before going back to his feathers. "I was hoping maybe you could give me one of those," he spoke as he came closer. Fawkes folded his wings behind him and stared at the raven-haired boy in front of him. Harry sat on the ground as he tried to think of a way to get him to give a feather. _Maybe I have to bow? Or offer him something in return or— _A sound behind him caught his attention. Harry jumped to his feet, drew his wand and spun around.

"You would be surprised how many times I've had wands pointed at me in my own office," Albus said with a small smile. Harry guiltily lowered his wand and looked at the headmaster.

"Sorry, sir."

"Not to worry, Harry. Lemon Drop?" He asked, offering him a bowl.

"No thanks."

Dumbledore shrugged and popped one in his mouth. "I do so enjoy the sour ones," he remarked as he sat behind his desk. "Now, what brings you here today, Harry?"

"Well, S—er, Professor Snape needs a phoenix feather for the Disamorezen bond. And he sent me to retrieve one… sir," he added awkwardly and looked at his feet.

"Why didn't you say so? Fawkes," Albus said, holding out his arm. The phoenix flew over and landed gracefully. He reached up and pulled lightly on a few of his tail feathers until one came lose. Fawkes made a displeased noise, but didn't fly off. "Here you are," he said as he handed Harry a red-ish-orange feather.

"Thank you."

"You're most welcome. How is your training going?"

Harry fought the urge to groan. He was still pissed with the headmaster for everything he'd done to him in the past, but knew that it would be pointless to act on the anger. "It's going well. Thanks again for letting us use the Room of Requirement," he said causally.

"Not a problem. I would love to chat, but there are a few things I need to attend to. Please feel free to stop by more often, Harry," Albus said with the twinkle in his eyes.

"Yes, sir!" Harry mumbled as he made his way to the door.

"Oh, and Harry? Knock next time," he said with a wink.

"Right."

Harry was jogging back to Snape's chambers through a professor corridor when he ran into McGonagall. "Good afternoon, Mr. Potter," she said cordially.

"Good afternoon."

"How are you feeling?" She asked with genuine concern.

Harry groaned, "How many people know?"

"As many as necessary," she said simply, still waiting for an answer.

"I'm alright. Severus and I are collecting ingredients for the cure right now."

"Then I won't keep you." He smiled and continued on his way. After three or so steps, she spoke again, "And perhaps from now on, you'll more strongly consider the consequences of your actions?"

"Yes," he replied. Had he turned around, he would have seen the grandmotherly look of worry on her face.

Harry returned to find Snape's chamber still empty. He set the feather down on an end-table and reclined on the couch. Hours passed and Severus still wasn't home. Harry started getting worried he poured himself a glass of fire whiskey and tried to concentrate on the fire. His thoughts took a negative turn; _He's dead… Sev died in Knockturn Alley and there wasn't a damn thing I could do. I'm pathetic and useless. How am I supposed to save the world again if I can't save one bloody person? _He walked into his room and found his knife. Harry made a few slashes in his ribs before he left his room and sat on the couch once more; with another drink in hand. After he downed that one, he raked the knife down his forearms as tears streaked his face. A few drinks later he was curled up on the floor of the library, sobbing and calling Snape's name into the fireplace. It glowed green and he backed into the couch, afraid of the new green flames.

Severus stepped in carrying a dozen bags. He walked briskly to the kitchen table and set everything down with a sigh. "Damn floo network was shut down for five hours because of a bloody prank call." He shook his head and turned to Harry who seemed oddly silent. "Are you all—" His gaze fell on the empty bottle of fire whiskey laying on the rug and traveled to the half-filled glass on the table. "Harry!"

The young man cowered into the couch. His thoughts were beyond fuzzy, but he knew he had to be in trouble. "I…. I'm sssorrrry. Issss jusss' Sssevverrrusss wasss gooonee ssso long…. An' an' an'…. An' I thought you… were dead. Itwassuperhorrible, Sev."

Snape walked over and knelt before him. "I'm not mad, I'm sorry I was gone so long. But this isn't how to handle it."

"I'm sso sssooorrrryyyy—sssshit."

Severus's mind flashed back to the first, and only other, time Harry was drunk in his presence. He quickly conjured a bucket for him. But Harry shook his head. "What is it? What do you need?" He asked in the nicest voice he could manage. Then he looked at the floor. Blood. Blood everywhere. It covered the couch, floor, and the marble in front of the fireplace. "What happened? Harry?"

"I dddidn't want you t-t-t-to notice," he said as tears fell from his bloodshot eyes. Harry held up his bloody arms for Snape to see before he started trying to get his shirt off.

"No, you need to keep your clothes on," he said, assuming the drunk young man was planning to fuck.

"I… have more… on my ribssss."

Severus looked at him sadly but helped him take his shirt off. Red, angry cuts leaked blood down his sides and onto the waist band of his jeans. "Oh, Harry."

"Y-y-y-you're mad… I knew… I knew you'd be mad…."

"I'm not mad," he said, taking Harry into his arms. "I love you. And you just made a mistake. We all make mistakes," he soothed as Harry cried into the black robes. Eventually, the crying stopped and was replaced with light snoring. Severus pulled Harry into his arms but before he started walking, the young man woke.

"I wanna walk," he said and started struggling to get to the floor.

"Okay, okay" Snape replied, still helping him stand once his feet touched the ground. "We're going this way, toward your bed," he said softly as he gently pulled him in that direction.

"DON'PULLME! I GOT THIS!" He yelled before staggering toward his room. Harry tripped but fell into Snape's waiting arms. "Nevermin' I don't gotthis," he said, sinking into the black robes again. He took comfort in the smell of his potion master's robes and leaned into him. "Mmm, stay like thisss," he slurred.

Severus guided them though Harry's doorway and were almost to his bed when he felt something warm and wet on his leg. _I'll kill him,_ he thought with a grimace as he gently pushed Harry against the doorframe. He waited until the Gryffindor stopped soiling himself before he casted a cleaning spell on him. Eventually, Snape had Harry in his boxers laying on the bed. He cleaned and bandaged the new wounds, a task made easier by Harry sleeping. Severus then tucked the young man in and kissed him on the forehead. "It's a good thing I love you," he said as he put a trashcan beside his bed and just hoped Harry would be aware enough to make use of it.

Snape closed Potter's room door and cleaned the library before he Accioed the potion. Normally, he wouldn't brew in his own chambers, but tonight was a special circumstance. He added the dragon claws, spider legs, and the eyes of newt. Once he finished stirring, he locked it in a cabinet in his room. Severus retrieved a new bottle of firewhiskey from his pantry and poured himself a glass. He worried about Harry as he sipped his drink. _What made him get to that state? _Before he got too lost in his thoughts, he heard a crash in Harry's room. "Dammit," he muttered as he set his glass down and opened the door.

The Gryffindor was laying perfectly still in his bed, staring at his bedside table knocked on its side. Severus went to straighten it but Harry yelled. "NOOOOOOO DON'T MOVE IT! THE DRAGONS WILL NEVER ACCEPT ME AS ONE OF THEM IF YOU DO! NOOOOO!" Then he blacked out. Snape covered him again and left the room quietly.

Once he had finished his own drink, he walked to his room and laid in his bed. Severus just hoped that he would wake to find Potter, and his house, in one piece. He tried to stay awake, in case Harry should need or want him; but his eye lids kept falling shut and he couldn't fight to stay awake anymore. He fell into a deep sleep.


	24. Chapter 24: Will You Go

**A/N: Happy Christmas (or other winter holiday!) everyone! Thank you for all the reviews, I love getting them! Everyone thank** **Stefan Lee Salvatore for the early update! I love you all and I hope you're having nice Holidays! **

Chapter 24: Will You Go

Severus woke early to his alarm. He groaned as he pulled himself from his bed, really not wanting to work today. A slight frown crossed his face when he remembered Harry's night. Snape changed into his typical black t-shirt and dark jeans before he walked to the younger man's door. He knocked; when he received no answer, he opened the door. Harry was sprawled across the floor, his blanket wrapped around his hips and legs. Severus studied his muscular shoulder blades, down the ridged spine, to the dimples peeking out from under the blanket.

Harry opened his eyes and tried to focus on the blurry blob before him. His mouth and throat were drier than he ever imagined possible and his head _hurt._ He brought his hand to a temple and massaged it carefully. Once he realized that wasn't working, he propped himself up on his elbows.

"How are you feeling?" Snape asked softly.

Harry groaned and felt around for his glasses. He put them on and blinked a few times, everything in focus. His bedside table was on the ground and he looked up, puzzled.

"You said the dragons wouldn't accept you as one of their own if I moved it," he said simply as he pulled a vial from his pocket and handed it to him. Harry uncorked and smelled the potion. A smile crossed his face and he tipped his bead back and swallowed the contents.

"Thank you," he whispered and tried to pull himself off the ground. His head spun and he fell back to the floor with a hard thump. "Ughn…"

"Perhaps you should wait for the potion to take effect," he said slowly and turned to leave.

"Where going?" He said thickly.

"I have to teach, and you have practice."

"Fuck me," he muttered angrily.

"Don't tease me, Potter," he replied with a smirk and stepped lightly out of the room. Severus adorned his midnight robes and departed.

Harry shivered as he pulled himself slowly off the floor and walked to the bathroom. He stripped and stepped into a hot shower, enjoying the heat on his skin. Once he was clean, he changed into a maroon t-shirt and black jeans. His reflection stared back at him, pale skin with puffy, green eyes and a slight frown. He made several faces in the mirror, trying to see if one made him appear more alive. Eventually, he gave up and made his way to the Room of Requirement.

"You're late," growled Moody, loudly.

"Sorry," he muttered. The potion had done wonders, but he still had a bad headache. The sparring began as soon as the "y" was out of his mouth.

Classes went by slowly for Severus. As finals were next week, students were constantly asking him numerous useless questions. "Will we need to know how many nights until the next full moon?" "Is unicorn hair helpful to werewolves?" "Are we going to have to brew an actual potion for the exam?" He rolled his eyes before the question was out of the brat's mouth. Of course, in proper Snape fashion, he answered sarcastically, never giving a 'yes' or 'no'.

Finally, he reclined on the leather couch in his library and sipped a glass of firewhiskey. _Skipping dinner was a good idea,_ he thought as he drifted into a light sleep.

Harry came in to the Chambers to find Snape asleep on the couch. He tip-toed into the kitchen and found himself an apple. "How was training?" The low voice surprised him and he jumped.

"Brutal," he replied once his heart slowed a bit. "Classes?"

"They're all bloody idiots," he said flatly. Harry came over to his and looped his arms around his neck.

"I was a 'bloody idiot' too."

"Don't remind me. What've you got there?" He asked, gesturing to the forgotten parchment Harry was holding.

"It's an invitation to Ron's family Christmas party."

"Ah, are you planning to attend?"

"Well, I was thinking about it, yeah. But I was… wondering… if you're not doing anything…"

"Are you asking me on a date?"

"Er, well… I … I am allowed to bring one if I want and you're kind of the only person I would choose and…" He stumbled over his words.

Severus raised an eyebrow as he considered. "When?"

"This Friday at seven," Harry replied with a shaking voice.

"I don't know—"

"Please," he said with puppy-eyes. "I'll help you brew a potion if you come!"

"Really? Any potion?" The Slytherin asked with a smirk, expecting the young man to say 'no'.

"Yes!" He yelled excitedly.

"Even one that would take all night?" He asked with an eyebrow raised and his arms crossed.

"Yes! I said yes!" Harry exclaimed as he bounced on his toes

"Then there's your answer," Snape said smoothly.

"You'll go?" He asked giddily.

"Indeed," Severus replied. His heart leapt as a wide smile broke across Harry's face.

Harry squeezed the potion master tightly. "I'll RSVP right now!" He said as he pulled out a quill and parchment. The quill flew across the page as he messily scrawled:

_Weasleys,_

_In response to the invite, yes!_

_Harry + 1 guest!_

"I'll be right back!" Harry sprinted through the door and up the owlery. He panted when he reached the top step, but didn't slow. A brown owl landed in front of him and stretched out her leg. He tied the letter on and watched her fly off, his heart racing. Harry was absolutely shocked he got Severus to agree.

When he returned to Snape's chambers, he found him sitting on the couch staring into the fire. "You can't go back on your decision," he said calmly as he sat beside the potion master.

"Oh? And why would I do a stupid thing like that?"

"Didn't think you would," Harry replied as he laid he head on Severus's leg and looked up at him.

Snape stroked Harry's hair with long, skeletal, gentle fingers and smiled. He was nervous about the party; but he would be with the young man in his lap the whole time. _Plus, _he thought happily, _if it means I get to see Harry that excited, it's worth it. _


	25. Chapter 25: Party

Chapter 25: Party

Friday came more quickly than Severus expected. He'd almost forgotten about the party, but Harry reminded him at lunch. He quietly passed him a note as they finished their food at the professor table.

_Don't forget, tonight at 7. _

Snape stared at the messy scrawl for a few minutes before he looked up to see the Gryffindor practically quivering with excitement. He was too nervous to be excited. _A party. With all of the Weasleys. No doubt Granger will be there too. _His heart pounded as he discreetly took Harry's hand and gave it a squeeze.

The rest of the day flew by and before Snape knew it, he was staring into his mirror. A slim, muscular man in boxers stared back with a nervous frown. He sighed and ran his hand through his greasy hair as Harry walked up behind him. He was wearing a tight, maroon dress shirt with black pants. "How do I look?"

"Brilliant. What about me?" Severus asked as he gestured to himself.

"Perfect, as always. But you might want to wear a bit more, it's a little chilly out. Y'know with it being winter and all," he replied with a smirk.

"Hmmm." He headed to his closet and pulled out a black shirt and pants. Once he had that on, he riffled through a drawer.

"What else could you need?" He asked as he marveled at how attractive the potion master was in nice clothes. _Not that his robes aren't sexy,_ Harry thought.

"I guess nothing," he replied as he tucked his necklace beneath the black fabric. "Where is this get-together?"

When he handed him the address and Severus nodded and prepared to apparate. "Wait!" Harry yelled and the potion master gave him a quizzical look. "I'll be right back!" He ran to his room, downed a potion and returned to the man's side.

"What was that for?"

"Remember what happened last time?"

Snape nodded.

"I drank a potion so it wouldn't happen again. Now come on, we're gonna be late!" He said and looped his arm around Severus's.

They appeared in front of an old mansion. "This belonged to an old wizard who hadn't a family or any close friends. When he died, the ministry tried to sell the place to anyone who could afford it. No one did and eventually they converted the first floor and basement to… well you'll see," Snape told Harry.

The younger man nodded distractedly as he smoothed his shirt. He was chewing on his lip and staring through the windows.

_He's nervous,_ the potion master realized. "If you don't want to go with me, I can leave," he said softly.

"No, I want you with me. I just haven't seen them in a long time and—" The door opened revealing a very cheerful Mrs. Weasley wearing bright red robes.

"Harry!" She exclaimed as she wrapped him in a hug. "It's been to long! Oh and who is your date?"

Severus stepped into the beam of light spilling from the door. "Molly," he said lightly.

"Severus!" A look of confusion and shock crossed her face for a split second before it was replaced by a smile as she gestured for them to come in.

Harry took his hand gently as they crossed the threshold into the elaborately decorated building. Just in front of them was a giant Christmas tree adorned with exquisite ornaments from around the world. To the left someone was playing a black grand piano as people sang muggle Christmas carols. Children tromped up the spiral staircase in the middle of the first floor. It was a completely open floor-plan with a few couches and pieces of furniture scattered around the walls. In the back right corner, a counter separated a wall of kitchen appliances from the rest of the area. Harry heard his name called to his right and turned to see Ron and Hermione running to him. They hugged him tightly as she asked him millions of questions. She was silenced, however, when she noticed Snape standing awkwardly an arm's length away. Before either of them could ask, Harry spoke. "Severus is my date this evening." His tone was pleasant with a hint of authority.

"Professor," Hermione said as she offered her hand.

"Please, call me Severus," he replied and shook hands.

Ron stared open-mouthed until she elbowed him. "Er, Hi."

Someone called the ginger's name and he took off without another word, thankful for the interruption.

Fred and George came over as Hermione opened her mouth. "Heya Harry!"

"How's everything?"

"Hey. I'm great. How are you both?"

"We're alright. Thankfully it's not a full moon," George said as he elbowed his twin.

"Yeah, Remus and I actually get to come to an event, finally," he replied smirking.

"Hermione, don't let us keep you from talking to Harry!"

She shot them a bemused smile as they made their way over to the piano. "So anyway, Harry, I was going to say…"

Severus watched the interaction with a forced smile. Everything seemed too stressful as he looked around the room, searching for anyone to stand near. He knew a lot of the people there, but they didn't exactly like him, save for Harry. But the one who invited him was busy talking to the Weasleys and his old classmates. He decided to stalk to one of the couches on the outer wall to stay out of the way. People sporadically casted him odd glances and strange looks before returning to their conversations. _I shouldn't be here,_ he thought bitterly. _No one wants me here anyway._ He stared across the room at Harry and his heart fluttered. The Gryffindor was laughing and talking to Charlie and Fred. He longed to know what they were saying so he could see the sheer joy on Potter's face again. Snape glanced around the room for the tenth time, making sure there was no danger. _Once a spy, always a spy, _he sighed.

Harry had been talking to more people than he could count when he realized Snape was no longer beside him. He scanned the room and quickly found him sitting alone on a couch. An excuse easily flew from his lips as he left the conversation and made his way over to the uncomfortable-looking potion master. "Hey, you doing okay?" He asked cautiously as he sat on the old leather couch.

"I'm fine," he mumbled, guilty he took the Gryffindor from his fun.

"You know, you could come stand by me and talk to people."

"They don't want me here. Let's face it, I've probably taught more than half the witches and wizards in this room. And I'm a greasy git."

"Sev, it's okay to be nervous. C'mon. let's go get some punch and talk to Remus."

He nodded and pulled himself off the sofa. A warm, soft hand wrapped around his and gently pulled him to a table with a large, glass punch bowl. Severus filled two glasses and handed one to Harry. The young man thanked him and sipped his drink as they walked over to Lupin.

"Remus!" Harry greeted cheerfully.

"Harry!" He said as he shook his hand.

"You know Severus. He's my guest this evening," he said as Sev extended a hand to Lupin. They shook with forced smiles.

"How have you been?" Harry inquired.

"I've been well. Having Fred around has definitely improved full moons…" Severus absentmindedly put an arm around Harry as he half-listened to the werewolf talk.

They stayed at the party for a total of five hours. Severus ended up drifting to the wall once more, but he didn't mind as much. It gave him an opportunity to see Harry smile and enjoy some much needed interaction with his friends. He spoke with a few people who passed by but they didn't say anything note-worthy. Eventually, Harry came back over to him looking exhausted and they left.

As soon as they were back in Sev's chambers on the couch, Harry had a guilty look. "What did you do?" Severus asked.

"I might have told a few people that we're having a party…"

Snape pulled Harry into his lap as he laughed. "I'm glad I came with you," he said, changing the subject.

"Really? I was worried. It didn't look like you were having fun."

"I enjoyed spending time with you," he replied softly as he ran his hands through the raven hair. Harry smiled sleepily up at him and curled into his chest.

"Thanks for coming. I'm sorry if it seemed like I was ignoring you. I didn't mean to…"

"You didn't."

Harry pulled himself up to look Severus in the eyes. He leaned in and pressed his lips to his, gently, lovingly.

Severus returned the kiss, equally as gently. He felt Harry's hands around his back, pulling him closer and weaving his fingers into his hair. A growl hummed in his throat as the Gryffindor pulled back and smiled.

"I love you," he whispered and Snape's heart hammered against his ribs, trying to slither up his throat.

"I love you too," he replied as he stared into the emerald eyes and caressed his cheek.

Harry nuzzled into the potion master's strong, sold chest and listened to his heartbeat until he fell asleep.

**A/N: Thank you so much for all of the reviews, you guys give me the motivation I need to keep writing. Love you! Thanks again for reading! **


	26. Chapter 26: Scars

**A/N: I'm sorry this is so late. I've included extra cute in an effort to apologize. Life got really crazy and it might get worse soon. I promise I will not abandon this fic, or any of the other ones. Promise. It just might take me more time to update than usual. I'm sorry about that. **

Chapter 26: Scars

Severus woke with a stiff back. _We need to quit sleeping on this damn couch, _he thought as he sat up. His foot nudged something hard when he moved to stand. He found Harry, snoring softly on the floor. Severus carefully dropped a blanket around the sleeping Gryffindor and made his way to the bathroom.

He turned on the shower and stepped into a steamy waterfall. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips as the water pounded against his spine, releasing some of the tension. He sighed and leaned his head against the cool, black marble. The worry he had suppressed during the party emerged full-force. He struggled with the idea of the potion not working, or worse: Alex doing something to him before they had the chance to finish the elixir. "Fuck," he muttered and slammed a fist against the shower wall. Tears prickled in his eyes as a feeling of helplessness overtook him. "I just want to keep him safe," he whispered.

Harry woke well-rested. He was surprised to find himself on the floor and that he'd slept so well. _Like the cupboard, I guess, _he decided. His head pounded dully, but he didn't think much of it. He pushed himself off the ground and trudged to the bathroom. The door was closed, but he opened it anyway. Steam clouded his glasses as he crossed the room to the toilet.

"Potter," an angry voice growled.

He stopped, halfway to his destination. Groggy and unsure of why his last name was used he replied, "Err, Professor?"

"Why are you here?"

The fog was starting to clear from his glasses and Harry found himself facing a soaking wet Snape. His hair was plastered to his face and dripping everywhere. A white towel was draped low around his hips, daring him to step forward and pull it away. Harry was mesmerized by the way his torso glistened in the soft light.

"Why are you here?" The silk voice repeated.

"I um…" He gestured helplessly at the toilet.

Severus nodded and stalked back to his room. He quickly pulled on a black t-shirt and jeans before returning to the library. The bathroom door was still closed and he assumed Harry was still there. His mind wandered and he found himself wondering why he didn't just let the Gryffindor see him in the shower. Come to think of it, he almost enjoyed that he was found in a typically awkward situation. He immediately regretted reacting so harshly. _This isn't the way to get him to warm up to anything physical,_ Snape scolded himself.

The door opened and Harry slipped out. He kept his gaze fixed on the floor as his cheeks burned. Slowly, he padded over to the couch. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I overreacted."

He looked up in surprise.

"What?"

"I expected a lecture."

"I was wrong to snap at you. Honestly, I didn't mind much. I was more worried that you would be uncomfortable and wanted to prevent that," he said in a voice dripping with regret.

Harry titled his head up. "I'll remember that," he replied with a smirk.

Severus smiled mischievously and pulled Harry into his lap.

The two wrestled playfully for a while before Snape pinned Harry and kissed him fiercely.

He arched up into the kiss, pushing back, greedily. As the Gryffindor pulled back for a breath, his stomach growled.

Severus laughed. "Come on, let's go eat." He rolled off Harry and offered him a hand off the ground.

The rest of the day passed quietly. Harry practiced for his training while Severus graded and read books on healing. When the Gryffindor asked what he was doing, the potion master responded that he was trying to learn new methods for treating Werewolf cuts. But Harry looked over his shoulder and found he was reading up on the cure for the Disamorezen bond. He ignored the lie and continued practice.

When evening came around, Severus pulled the cauldron out of his cabinet and took it into the library. He set it on the table beside the ingredients.

"We still need the stuff from Alex," Harry mumbled quietly next to him.

He nodded as he added the dragon blood and scales, frog tongue, rose petals, and phoenix feather. The potion hissed and turned a murky red-ish-black. "The dragon blood," Snape remarked as he started to slowly stir the concoction.

Harry's hands itched to grab a knife as he thought about blood. His desire to watch it slither down his arms increased tenfold and a whimper escaped his lips.

Severus ignored the noise, as he was concentrating on the correct heat and number of stirs. Minutes turned into an hour and finally, he backed away from the table and collapsed on the couch. His shoulders sagged as he drew in a deep breath.

"When do I have to add the blood?" Harry blurted.

"We have to add yours and Alex's at the same time," Snape replied calmly. He saw the look of desire in the emerald eyes and recalled the whimper form before. His own want to feel the blade again inched to the surface; but he quickly shoved it back down.

"Oh," he replied, the disappointment clear and thick in his voice. "What should we do now?" Harry inquired, trying to hastily re-direct the conversation. He didn't want Sev to realize how badly he ached for his knife.

Severus waved his wand and the potion soared back to its place in his cabinet before he replied. "Come here."

He snuggled into the black t-shirt and looked up at his potion master. "Now what?"

"Drop your glamours."

"W-what?" He stuttered and pulled away.

"Please."

Harry sighed and did as told. His skin was marred with white, old scars and scabbed over cuts. He hung his head and closed his eyes, concentrating on his breathing.

Severus leaned forward and pulled him into his lap once more. He took a scarred arm to his face and touched his lips to it. "You're beautiful, Harry," he whispered against his forearm.

The emerald eyes shimmered with tears as they looked into the onyx.

He traced smooth lips down to Harry's wrist and pressed a gentle kiss to the scars. "I love you, scars and all." Before the Gryffindor spoke, he continued. "They're not weakness. They're proof of how strong you are." He paused and caressed Harry's cheek before retrieving the other arm. "And this," he said, gesturing to newer cuts, "is healing."

Tears slipped down Harry's face as he listened to the kind words. He didn't believe them, not really, but they were nice to hear.

Severus dried the Gryffindor's tears with his thumbs before pulling back.

Harry looked up quizzically and panicked that he had done something wrong.

With a deep breath, Snape's glamours fell away. The once smooth, pale skin was littered with thin, white lines. "I feel it too. The need. The desire. I understand. I know," he said raggedly. Fear coursed through him as he waited for his reply. He was terrified Harry would be revolted, disgusted, horrified… Arms wrapped around his torso and pulled him into a tight hug. He felt the Gryffindor sobbing against him. His hand ran through the messy black mane as he too wept.

"I love you," Harry murmured into his neck.

"And I you, Harry."

"Forever?"

"Always."


	27. Chapter 27: Are You Sure

Chapter 27: Are You Sure

Harry's hands shook as he hid behind a stone pillar. He tried to regulate his breathing as he heard Alex's approaching footsteps. His legs bent at the knees in preparation to jump. She came into view and he pounced. His shoulder slammed into her chest as they crashed to the floor. She struggled for a few minutes before he was able to pin her. Harry was straddling her legs as he studied her face without emotion. He knew it was imperative he remain clam or she could gain control of his mind once more.

Alex stared angrily into his emerald eyes. "What the hell was that?" She snapped as her hands balled into fists.

He seized her wrists and kept them pilled at her sides. "I just need a few things," he said coldly and pulled a few vials from his pocket. His hand was steady as he reached for her hair. She hissed as he ripped out a few and put them in a vial. Next, he whipped out a pair of scissors and cut a few of her nails.

Alex growled. She tried desperately to break though the wall around his mind. Her attacks were met with empty white space. "You loved me, I know you did," she said, trying to get a rise out of him.

"Did I?" He replied with disinterest as he drove a knife into her arm and allowed the stream of blood to flow into the vial.

She tried to blink back the tears that sprang to her eyes as the steel bit her flesh. One single tear streaked down her face.

Just before it disappeared into her sea of hair, Harry forced a vial in its path. Alex growled again and struggled beneath him.

He shook his head and picked up the final vial. Carefully, he inched his hand closer to her mouth. She clamped her jaw shut and turned her had away. "Alex," he said exhaustedly.

Her eyes flickered to his and for a moment he saw the girl he thought he knew. Innocent and sweet, the girl he thought he could marry one day was before him once again.

She used his momentary lapse in judgment to her advantage. Alex squirmed from beneath him and reached for his wand.

Harry caught her arm, twisted it behind her back, and slammed her into a wall. An audible snap echoed through the hall, followed by a high-pitched shriek. He took advantage of the moment and ran a vial along her tongue. Just as he pulled his hand back, she snapped her mouth closed on his fingers. Harry hissed as the top of the vial broke in his fist and sharp teeth gouged the back of his hand. He tore his hand away and let go of her before grabbing his wand. "Stupefy!" She fell to the ground, stiff as a board. He cursed himself for not thinking of that first and unclasped his fist. His blood had mixed with her saliva. "Dammit." With his good hand, Harry fished around in his pocket and found another vial. He dropped to the floor, pried her mouth open, and gathered a new sample.

Once he sealed the vial, he stood and looked around. The hallway was empty. His hands shook as he took Alex by the ankles and dragged her behind a statue. _I'll ask Snape what to do about this later,_ he thought and started sprinting back to Sev's chambers.

When he arrived, he found the potions master asleep on his sofa with an open book resting on his chest. A smile crossed his face as he put the book on an end table and covered him with a blanket. Throbbing in his hand distracted him. He looked down and saw the jagged, bloody shards protruding from his skin and shivered. _I want more. _

Harry made his way to the bathroom and started plucking at the glass with his bare fingers. He hissed as the glass bit into them as well.

Severus woke to a hiss. He looked down and found himself wrapped in a fluffy black blanket. _Harry, _he thought with a smile. Thinking back to the hiss, he tossed the blanket off and walked to the only open door. As he stepped into the room, he saw Harry standing by the sink with blood dripping down his arms. "Harry," he whispered.

"Sev!" He replied, startled.

"What happened?" He inquired softly.

"Alex. I tried to… I tried…" His voice cracked.

"Shhh," Severus said, pulling him into the black robes. "It's okay."

"It's not like that!" Harry said and gently pushed back. "I tried to get the things we needed from her. She bit me and the vial… it broke… and," he splayed his hand for Snape to see.

He grimaced at the bloody glass and raised his wand. The glass removed itself and fell into a neat pile on the edge of the sink.

"IIII AAccckkkk!" Harry said as he stared in shock.

"Wash it," he commanded.

The Gryffindor did as told, flinching the entire time. Once his hands were clean, he followed Snape into the kitchen and put the vials on the table. His old professor nodded approvingly. "Well done, though, you shouldn't have done it alone," he said, scolding.

"I—"

"It was dangerous!" He snapped, scowling.

Harry shrank in his chair, getting in trouble never seemed to change.

"You could have been killed." Severus's voice cracked as fear ripped through his chest. It was quickly followed by sadness. "I'm sorry," he finally whispered.

"It's okay. I understand," he replied and closed the distance between them. His hands found their way around the potion master's neck and pulled his face closer. Their lips met, crushing hard against each other. A primitive growl rumbled through Harry's throat as he felt Snape's tongue against his. He gracefully led him to the couch and gently laid down.

Severus straddled Harry on the couch. He deepened the kiss, fueled by passion and love. He caressed his jaw with slender fingers. His heart raced as he felt Harry growing hard beneath him. Hating himself for it, he pulled back. "Are you sure?" He asked softly.

To be continued... (In the next chapter, of course!)


	28. Chapter 28: Yes

_"It's okay. I understand," he replied and closed the distance between them. His hands found their way around the potion master's neck and pulled his face closer. Their lips met, crushing hard against each other. A primitive growl rumbled through Harry's throat as he felt Snape's tongue against his. He gracefully led him to the couch and gently laid down._

_Severus straddled Harry on the couch. He deepened the kiss, fueled by passion and love. He caressed his jaw with slender fingers. His heart raced as he felt Harry growing hard beneath him. Hating himself for it, he pulled back. "Are you sure?" He asked softly._

Chapter 28: Yes

"Yes," Harry gasped raggedly as he pulled the potion master back to him. His heart thundered in his chest, pumping nervousness and excitement through his veins. He fumbled with the buttons of Snape's outer robes until the older man waved his wand and the mass of black fell to the floor. Harry offered him a grateful smile before he slid off the Slytherin's dark t-shirt.

Severus smiled as the cool air caressed his chest. He took off the young man's shirt with careful, but unpracticed, fingers. His breath caught and a shiver slithered up his spine as Harry toyed with the waistband his pants. Snape's hands shook with anticipation as he cupped Harry's face in his hands and kissed him once more. Their chests pressed together and the two hearts hammered against each other.

Harry's lips tingled as he tasted Snape. His cock was straining painfully against his jeans and he imagined the potion master's was doing the same. He slipped his hand between their bodies. Severus pulled back slightly and gave Harry the access he needed. He ran his fingers teasingly down the Slytherin's denim-clad cock. The man moaned in response and the sound made Harry harder. He hastily pulled Snape's pants off with shaking hands.

Snape sighed as the constricting jeans fell to the ground. He returned the favour and traced kissed down Harry's chest, stopping just before the waistband of his boxers. Harry shivered beneath him and he glanced up at the Gryffindor's face, worried he might have changed his mind. His fears evaporated when he saw the young man's head tilted back, enjoying the feeling of his lips on his skin. He wanted to tug the low-hanging boxers from his hips, but refrained.

The Gryffindor hooked his fingers in the silken waistband and slid the material away. He stared at the beautiful cock before him with unmasked awe. It made his own ache, reminding him how badly he wanted release. His hands found their way to his own boxers and Severus helped him remove them. Harry looked up at the man above him and smiled. The light blurred around his black hair, making him a silhouette. "It will be easier for you on your knees," Severus leaned close and whispered in his ear. He turned over in a single, quick motion. Snape was still miraculously above him and guided him in to the proper position. He was on his hands and knees, as though he were going to crawl. His eyes focused on his hand, a stark white against the deep leather of the couch. "This will be cold," Snape's low voice warned him. He shivered as a cool gel coated his arse.

Severus slicked his cock and positioned himself. "Ready?" He asked softly.

"Yes!" Harry moaned and rocked back.

He inched in, slowly, listening to each hiss and grunt. His mouth tried to form an apology but words wouldn't come; just incoherent sounds. He ached to thrust faster, but held back, allowing Harry to get used to the feeling. Only when the Gryffindor thrust backwards did he start picking up the pace.

Pain. Pain was the only thing Harry felt at first. He fought the urge to squirm away from the cock slowly making its way into him. His jaw locked as he held back a scream, not wanting Snape to stop. But he did stop. And when he did, the pain went away. Harry rocked back trying to tell the Slytherin he was ready. Message received. The pain came back, but it was mingled with pleasure. He focused on the inkling of pleasure and soon it overrode the pain. It was bordering on too much. He didn't want it to end, but he'd been on the edge for so long. A scream flew from his lips as Snape thrust into his prostate and sheer euphoria rushed over him. He didn't hear the scream that joined his, couldn't feel anything but waves and waves of brilliant release.

Harry opened his eyes, he didn't remember closing them. Severus was laying on his side, next to him, pressing gentle kisses down his spine. "Holy—"

"Consider your next word carefully," he said with a smirk.

"—hell that was hot!" Harry finished, smiling at him.

Severus couldn't help but to smile back.

He turned over so he could face Snape more easily. An arm gently cradled him closer to the potion master's chest. He felt the man's heartbeat against his burning cheeks and sighed. "Can it be like this forever?"

"Of course," he replied without skipping a beat. He knew how badly he wanted it to be true, but with the new dark forces rising, he didn't know how much longer he had. His mind started to entertain the idea of proposing to Harry. _Him getting on one knee while the Gryffindor beamed down at him, tears in his eyes._ _His hands shaking as he pulled out the ring box and before he even got it open Harry hysterically saying yes. Tears rolled down both of their faces as he plucked the ring from its velvet box and slid it on to Harry's finger. NO,_ he scolded himself, _none of that. Love him as much as you can now. Maybe the rest can come later,_ a voice of hope whispered as he looked into Harry's emerald eyes.

"I love you," he said softly.

"I love you too," Severus echoed and gently cupped his cheek.

He leaned into the slender hand, pressing against it, trying to show the love he felt in the gesture.

Snape held him tightly for a few more minutes before Harry practically leaped off the couch. "What's wrong?" He asked worriedly.

"Alex is still behind a statue in the hall!" He replied as he started getting dressed.

Severus dressed as well and was ready to go far before Harry.

"Have you seen my—"

He held up his shirt.

"Thanks," the Gryffindor replied as he put it on.

"You're a piece of work," Severus mumbled good-naturedly as he grabbed his hand from the table.

"But I'm your piece of work," Harry said, leaning into him.

"Come on," he said, pushing him off gently. "We have to clean up your messes."

Harry giggled until they stepped out of Snape's chambers. He did his best to conceal the smile that kept crossing his face. Finally, for the first time in a long while, he was able to believe he was truly loved.


	29. Chapter 29: Save Me

**A/N: Sorry guys, I've been going to doctors and hospitals like crazy. I promise to update as much as I possibly can. Love you! **

Chapter 29: Save Me

Alex was lying in a crumbled ball behind the statue, just how Harry had left her. The Gryffindor looked down at her with a satisfied smirk, pleased with how weak she appeared. He glanced over at Severus and expected to see a disapproving look. But that wasn't the case. The Slytherin was staring at Alex with more malice than Harry thought possible. "Sev," he whispered. "We can't harm her. Just Obliviate and leave her in a chair or something."

Snape hesitantly nodded before levitating her into a professor corridor. The three proceeded toward the Library as swiftly as they could. It was imperative they not get caught. Harry's heart hammered in his ears as he took a deep breath and concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. He stole a glance at Severus, who only looked mildly annoyed as he followed Alex's floating form. Harry was always fascinated by his ability to appear unfazed. He envied him a bit for it.

Harry held the door open as they reached the end of the hallway. He watched with hard eyes as Alex hovered passed before turning his gaze to the floor.

Severus dumped her in an old leather chair. He positioned her to look like she fell asleep before stepping back and casting Obliviate. "She shouldn't remember today," Snape said darkly as he turned, expecting the Gryffindor to follow. He walked to the door and realized Harry wasn't behind him. "Potter," he hissed.

"Hm?" He replied, transfixed by Alex. Tendrils of limp hair shadowed her face, unmasking her innocence. Her skeletal hands seemed to caress the chair as her bony knees threatened to puncture its soft, fragile arms.

"Come."

Harry didn't move. His eyes were locked on her face. Anger flooded through his veins, he didn't want to leave. He wanted to kill her. His jaw tightened as he clenched his fists and took a step closer. Hands tightened around his shoulders and he was led backwards. He fought, but the hands were stronger, steadier. They pulled him through a doorway, away from Alex, away from the temptation. A door slammed and he was plunged into darkness.

Severus caught Harry and guided him to the wall with great care. He waited impatiently for his eyes to adjust to the dim corridor light. The Gryffindor breathed heavily beside him. "Are you okay?" Snape inquired as he reached a hand toward him.

Harry released his breath slowly. "I'm fine. I don't know what came over me." He didn't feel like himself when he was moving closer to Alex, prepared to wrap his hands around her throat and choke the life out of her weak body. Revolted that he had even considered it, he shook his head.

"People experience intense desires when seeing a weakened opponent; especially who harmed them deeply," Severus said softly, hesitantly. He was ready for Harry to fall back into the trance. It worried him.

"Let's just go," he said weakly and started heading back toward Snape's chambers.

Once they were both seated on Severus's leather couch, Harry spoke. "Is there a way we could get rid of her?" His fist curled around the thick arm of the couch.

"What do you mean, exactly?" He asked slowly.

"Send her to Azkaban, or something."

Snape nearly breathed a sigh of relief that Harry didn't want to murder her. "Most likely."

He shot him an inquisitive look.

"There would have to be a trial, and evidence."

"Oh," he whispered.

"I could schedule a meeting with Dumbledore about it, if you'd like."

Harry knew it was a lot for Severus to offer. And though both of them weren't particularly fond of the headmaster, he knew his help would be beneficial. "Thank you," he replied softly.

Severus watched as he pulled himself off the couch. "Where are you going?"

"My room." He sulked away and slammed the door behind him. _I wanted her dead. Dead by my bloody hand._ His fingers trembled as he pulled open the drawer. He sighed as the blade sank into his arm. Relief washed over him as the blood raced down his fingers. His eyes traced the red rivers that crisscrossed his palm and he smiled. Harry knew he should regret it, but couldn't be bothered—not while the relief was so strong. _No one would miss me. I could do it,_ he thought as he pressed the knife just over his collarbone. He traced along it to the base of his throat and pressed until blood slithered beneath his black V-neck.

Severus didn't hear the familiar creak of Harry's bed. He paced the run before the young man's door. A feeling of dread and cold swept over him. He shoved the door open and saw Harry leaning against the wall with a bloody blade against his neck. His voice failed him. Swiftly, he sprinted to Harry's side. His fingers wrapped around the Gryffindor's and pulled the knife free. He threw it across the room, away from them. "What… What were you doing?" Severus asked in a broken voice.

"Remember when I was on the ledge of the tower? I wanted that. I wanted to go because I didn't want to hurt anymore." His voice trembled. "I want it again. I'm hurting you by being here. I wanted to kill her, Sev. Don't you understand that?" He choked off. "I—I wanted to hurt her like she hurt me. I didn't want her to have the power to hurt us anymore." Tears streamed down his face." If you hadn't pulled me back—" He choked off again. "I can't do it anymore."

Snape pulled him into his arms and guided him to the bed. Harry fell into his lap as they sat. Severus rubbed his back. "I love you, Harry," he said softly. "You're strong… brave… and I believe in you." His heart raced and tears burned his eyes as he thought about what would have happened if Harry had been successful. "And I don't know what I would do without you," he whispered around the lump squeezing his throat.

Harry buried his head in the black robes. He concentrated Snape's comforting scent. Tears leaked from his eyes as the man told him how much he cared. "You would find a way to go on," he whimper

"I wouldn't," he admitted.

The truth struck the Gryffindor and he sat up to look Severus in the eyes. They stared at each other for a few seconds. He studied the red-rimmed, onyx eyes before him. The pain of his own heart was etched in those eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "You shouldn't love me."

"I never do what I should. And I will always love you."

"I love you too"

Severus pressed a kiss to his forehead and cradled him close. They laid back, Harry nestled against his chest. Soon after, the Gryffindor fell asleep. Snape listened to his gentle breathing, felt his chest rise and fall beneath his hands. He dozed on and off, but couldn't seem to drift into a deeper sleep, worried that Harry wouldn't be breathing when he woke. "Please don't leave me," be whispered into the messy, raven hair.


	30. Chapter 30: The Disappearing Act

Chapter 30: The Disappearing Act

Harry carefully climbed out of Snape's arms. He dressed before tip-toeing into the kitchen and looked around for breakfast. Finding nothing that interested him, he sauntered into the library and started writing a letter to Severus. One he finished, he laid it carefully on the kitchen table. _I hope he sees it_, Harry thought as he slipped out of the potion master's chambers.

Memories from the night before crashed around his mind. He shook his head, trying desperately to shake the horrible feeling of dread snaking through him. "I have to do this," Harry growled into the empty hallway. The walls echoed his statement back to him as though agreeing. He stifled a cry as he trudged through the castle, hating himself more with each step.

Harry took a deep breath as he opened the door to the Room of Requirement. He was so early, Moody had yet to arrive. His footsteps echoed across the stone floor while he paced the edge of the room. He traced the walls with his index finger, following grooves, cracks, and patters of the old castle. Harry tried to memorize them to take his mind off of quitting. He jumped as the door opened.

"Potter," Moody grumbled as he walked in. "You're early."

"I figured I should make up for all the times I was late," he offered. His heart pounded against his ribcage as he stepped closer. _It's not fair to him. You can't do this. _

"Let's begin," he said gruffly, walking toward his student.

"Err, professor," Harry began and Moody stopped walking. "I came to…" A lump was forming in his throat as guilt washed over him. "To…" _He came to the school specifically because you asked. You took him from his work. You sick, twisted freak,_ his mind chanted.

"Out with it, I haven't got all day."

"To quit."

"Quit?" He asked bitterly, eyes narrowed.

He took a shaky breath. "Yes; I-I'm quitting training."

"What's this about Potter? Why?"

"Because," he said more confidently. "I have to focus on Alex—"

"Then the training will help you."

Harry closed his eyes and took a new approach. "I need a break," he said hoarsely.

"A break? Does the evil in the world take a break?" Moody snapped at him.

"No, but—"

"Did Voldemort take a break when he was trying to kill you?"

"I—" His fingers curled into fists.

"Did—"

"Stop!" Harry roared. His fingernails broke the skin of his palms. "Stop," he repeated in a measured tone. "I can't keep doing this to myself." His throat started tightening. "I'm worn too thin. I know the training would help with Alex. And I understand that from the way you're looking at it, it seems like I'm making a horrible decision. But I can't keep doing this." _I'm emotionally unstable,_ he added silently.

Moody regarded him with stiff silence for a few minutes before his glare softened. "I understand."

"Thank you." The words rushed out of him with a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry for wasting your time."

"You didn't waste my time. Everyone is allowed a change of heart," he offered gruffly, but bitterness lingered in his gaze.

"Thanks." He saw the pain, the hurt, and the anger. But Harry found didn't have the strength to care anymore and started walking to the door; but his instructor's voice stopped him.

"Potter."

"Yeah?" He didn't turn around.

"You always have a place with us, should you change your mind."

"Thank you," Harry replied softly as he stepped across the threshold. The door clicked shut behind him and he started walking. He stared at the bloody crescent moons in his palms and bile rose in his throat. He wanted more, he wanted to feel a blade beneath his skin as he did last night. Needed to see his blood racing down his arms. _Sick freak,_ he scolded weakly. Unsure of his destination, he let his feet take him anywhere. _Somewhere other than here,_ his mind instructed.

Severus picked up the scrap of parchment sitting on the kitchen table.

_Sev,_

_By the time you read this, I'll be at training. I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm quitting my lessons with Moody. _

His heart dropped, but he read on.

_I just can't be an Auror right now. I can't be anything right now. After last night, I'm afraid of hurting everyone. Even you. So it's better if I just go while I can. _

Severus's hands shook as his eyes scanned the remaining lines faster and faster.

_I love you so much… you've done more than anything I could have asked of you. And I'm so grateful. I wish every night could be us lying next to each other, safe and comfortable. I feel so safe in your arms, Sev, so loved. But it can't be like that—not while I'm like this. Not when I'm attached to Alex. Not when I almost killed her yesterday. I'll be back in a few days._

_Love, _

_Harry_

Snape hastily folded the note and put it in his breast pocket. He checked the time before racing to the Room of Requirement. Moody was reclined in a chair, staring at a ceiling made up of millions of stars. "Where's Potter?" He hissed.

"I thought he would be with you. He—"

"Quit earlier today, yes. Have you the slightest inkling of where he could be now?"

"No," Mad-eye growled.

Severus turned briskly on his heel and stalked away. His mind was racing, trying to think of where the Gryffindor would go.

Harry stared down the waterfall to the bottom. He watched as the water crashed into the rocks below, reflecting the morning sunlight. His lungs filled with deep breath as he prepared to dive. He lifted his hands above his head and felt his toes leave the grassy forest floor. For a second, Harry felt weightless, like he was flying. Then gravity seized him in her clutches and he plummeted toward the white water rocks that smiled at him like daggers. He smiled.


	31. Chapter 31: Saviour

Chapter 31: Saviour

Harry closed his eyes as he soared faster and faster toward the rocks and water below. His smile didn't falter until he felt something solid slam into his ribs. An audible snap drowned out the sound of the waterfall for a mere second. Harry grunted as he landed on the grassy bank beside the lake. Pain radiated from his right side. He tried to inhale, but it hut to breathe. Wanting to assess the damage, he opened his eyes and tried to sit up, but to no avail.

"Sorry, mate," a familiar voice said as a hand forced him flat again.

Harry turned his head, trying to see to whom the voice belonged. He didn't have to wait long; ginger hair blocked his view of the blue sky.

"Actually, I'm not sorry," he frowned for a moment before getting a thoughtful look on his face. "I just saved your bloody life. You should thank me," Fred said with a small hint of humor. But another look at Harry sobered him. The young man's side looked crushed and his breathing was frighteningly shallow. As badly as he wanted to, he knew it wasn't the time to inquire as to why Harry had done it.

Harry didn't respond, he didn't think he could with breathing being so difficult. He was also seething. _I wanted to die. Why the hell couldn't you have let me fall? _He glared at the Weasley.

"Right then. To the infirmary with you." Fred waved his wand and levitated Harry a few feet off the ground. His concern forced him into silence as he cautiously picked his way through the trees. It worried him that Harry was still feeling bad enough to attempt suicide. _Again._ He wanted to help him, but figured the younger Gryffindor was angry with him.

The more he thought about it, Harry was anything but angry. He was grateful Fred had been there to rescue him, even if that meant he couldn't breathe well now. _It would have been selfish to leave Severus like that. It would have been selfish to leave anyone like that, really. _They had just gone through the entrance of the castle when Harry whispered "Thank you."

Fred was surprised both that he was able to speak, and that he'd thanked him. "You're welcome. But really, you should kick the habit; it's not got a great life expectancy." It killed him to act light-hearted about the whole thing, but he was more interested in getting Harry medical attention. _There will be time for an explanation later._ He quickened his pace up the stairs.

Harry opened his mouth to respond but he felt something coming up his throat. Instinctually, he turned to the side and puked blood.

"A little warning next time?" He asked, jumping out of range. His heart hammered in his chest as he considered the severe damage his rescue probably did. _It's still better than dead, it's still better than dead,_ he mentally chanted, willing himself to believe it.

Fred intended to sound like he was kidding, but Harry heard the fear and worry slipping into his voice.

"Here we are," the ginger said as he guided Harry's floating form to one of the empty beds. He turned to go get Poppy, but the emerald eyes begged him to stay. He took out his wand and sent a patronus to her. She arrived quickly and Fred retreated to a nearby chair.

After a few medical scans, tests, and administered potions, Poppy came over to the ginger. "Could you go fetch Severus?"

He nodded and hastened out, adrenaline still coursing through his veins. Fred figured she could have sent a patronus, but probably needed him out of the room and was just being nice. He made his way to the dungeons and raised his hand to knock on Snape's office door. His fist struck the wood three solid times and he waited. Receiving no reply, he pushed it open, not caring what the professor would think. Severus was pacing in front of his desk, oblivious to the intruder. Fred cleared his throat and the potion master glared at him.

"Weasley. What the hell are you doing here?" He growled.

"Harry's in the infirmary," he replied in a shaky voice. Before the sentence had left his mouth, Snape was rushing past him. Fred followed him down numerous professor corridors until they reached the hospital wing. The two burst in and Severus ran to the young man in bed. He took the Gryffindor's hand and kissed his head before Poppy whispered something in his ear. Snape turned on Fred.

"What happened?" He asked in a dangerously low voice.

"I err, I was walking through the woods when I saw him on a cliff. So I started running to him and then he jumped. I didn't know what to do so I jumped from the lower ledge I was on and forced him off his course. I didn't mean to hurt him." Tears were stinging his eyes.

Severus walked toward him and he flinched. "I won't hurt you," he said softly and knelt before Fred's chair. "Thank you for saving him." He noticed that the ginger's left arm was hanging at a peculiar angle. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fi—" the pain hit. "HOLY FUCKING HELL," he screamed and curled forward around his arm. Poppy was on him in seconds with a pain potion. He felt soothing warmth spread through his body as the elixir quelled the agony. Within a few minutes he was in a bed and Madame Pomfrey was giving him more potions. Fred didn't care to ask what they did, he just hoped he'd be healed soon. The full moon was quickly approaching and he couldn't risk hurting the people he loved.

Harry woke to someone screaming and tried to sit up in bed but a horrible feeling in his side prevented him. He turned his head and saw Snape and Madame Pomfrey carrying Fred to the bed beside his. The ginger was nearly in the fetal position, hugging his left arm to his body. Severus noticed he was awake and came over. "Sev," he tried to say.

"Shh, don't speak. You'll hurt yourself more."

He nodded and cast a worried glance to Fred.

"He'll be fine. You need to rest, Harry. I love you, sleep well." He said softly before pulling up a chair. Severus took his hand and rubbed light circles on it with his thumb. The younger man looked up at him with tears in his eyes, wanting to apologize. "There will be time for the conversation later," he voiced his thoughts. Harry's eyes fluttered closed and he slipped into a deep sleep.

Severus continued to hold the Gryffindor's hand as he thought about what Fred told him. His heart dropped when the Weasley said that Harry was attempting suicide again and it was all he could do to not throw himself across Harry's bed and cry. He ran his free hand through his hair and sighed, not knowing what to tell his sleeping angel when he woke.

"Snape?" Fred said beside him.

"Hm?" He shifted position to both face the Weasley and continue holding Harry's hand.

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"Why do you say that?" His brow furrowed.

"You looked like you needed someone to tell you," he replied softly and closed his eyes.

Severus let him drift to sleep, knowing the potions would knock him out anyway. He waited a few minutes before whispering a thank you to Fred.


	32. Chapter 32: Survival

Chapter 32: Survival

Fred woke early the next morning. His arm ached, but he flexed his fingers and found them to be working properly. He turned to face Harry's bed and saw it was empty. Panic seized him and he pulled himself out of bed. The room swam dizzying circles around him as he stood; _damn pain potions. _After taking a couple unsteady steps, Madame Pomfrey's voice called after him.

"Mr. Weasley, what do you think you're doing?"

"Where's Harry?"

She guided him to his bed with a firm hand before answering. "He's staying in Severus's chambers."

Fred nodded, it sounded more than reasonable. He sighed. "I hoped to have a word with him before I left."

"I'll firecall them, just a moment."

Harry's eyes focused on the tall figure looming over him. His side burned as he drew in a breath; but a finger pressed to his lips before he opened them to speak.

"It'll hurt like a bitch," Severus mumbled.

"Let it hurt," he whispered breathily.

"Potter—" he began warningly, but Harry cut him off.

"No, Sev. I'm sorry." Tears trickled down his face. "I shouldn't have tried. I just…" He cringed in pain but continued, "I just couldn't…" His side throbbed angrily. "I want to be with you without anything getting in the damn way all the time." He didn't care that he was speaking and crying like a child. The pain in his ribs was enough to bring anyone to tears, the added emotional pain broke him.

Snape's glare faded into a hurt frown as the Gryffindor spoke. He knelt by the bed so they were face to face. "I understand what you mean; but Harry, you are with me." He paused, "As soon as the Disamorezen bond is broken, Alex will be gone. She'll be sent to Azkaban."

Harry's eyes widened, "How? I thought there was supposed to be a trial and everything."

Severus smirked. "Mr. Potter, I hate to inform you that time does, in fact, keep moving; even when you're ill." The humor faded. "Albus has been to the ministry arguing the case for quite a while now." The smirk returned, "Congratulations, we've won."

The Gryffindor smiled and took Severus's hand. "Kiss me," he whispered. Snape complied with a gentle peck. "Aw, come on," Harry complained.

"Not until you've recovered."

"I suppose that's fair." After a few minutes of quiet thought he said, "How did you finish the potion?"

"While you were… out, I took the liberty of getting the rest of the ingredients… from you," he added when Harry look thoroughly confused.

"Oh."

"You're to drink it tomorrow, assuming you're feeling well enough."

"I will," he replied with a dangerous, fiery determination in his eyes. Harry couldn't bear the thought of letting Alex hover over his mind longer than necessary.

Before Snape could argue, the fireplace flared. "I'll be back," he said as he walked into his library.

Harry tried his best to listen in; but much to his disappointment, both parties were whispering. A few minutes later, Severus returned. "What's up?"

"Fred would like a word with you," he replied.

His eyes widened. "Did you really just refer to him as 'Fred'?" Harry asked, ignoring the request. He knew the ginger would ask why he jumped—and Harry dreaded trying to answering.

"_Mr. Weasley_ wishes to speak with you," Snape said, smirking.

Harry smiled slightly but his heart sank. "Is um… is he coming here?" The potion master nodded. "Can I meet him in the library?"

"Of course. Would you like to change first?"

The Gryffindor pulled back the blanket to reveal a thick bandage around his midsection. It disappeared beneath the waistband of his boxers and that seemed to be the extent of his clothing. He contemplated a pair of sweatpants, but decided it was more trouble than it was worth. _Besides, it's Fred, he's not really going to care._ "Nah."

"As you wish," Severus said and gently pulled Harry into his arms. The Gryffindor immediately snuggled into his chest and breathed a sigh of relief. "You are aware that I have to put you down?" Harry nodded as Snape walked into the other room. The door of his chambers opened without a knock and the ginger stepped in, mouth hanging open.

Fred knew Snape and Harry were together, but it still came as a shock to see the potion master cuddling _anyone_. He snapped his jaw shut and offered them an embarrassed smile. Snape gave him a stiff nod and set Harry on the couch before covering him with a blanket and disappearing through a door. Fred took the chair facing the couch. "How are you feeling?"

He grimaced. "My ribs hurt. What about you?"

"My arm's a bit worse for wear, but healing nicely," he replied, moving his fingers for emphasis. Harry smiled weakly in response. "I won't ask why you did it,"_ or really anything else _he added silently "But I have to know, how are you now?"

Harry contemplated his answer for a few minutes. "I'll be better soon," he said, thinking about Alex being away from his mind.

Fred nodded approvingly. "I like it more when you're alive."

"As do I," came a deep voice behind him. The ginger jumped and spun around to face Severus.

Before Fred could say anything, Snape spoke. "I want to thank you for all you've done for us," he said, holding a package out to him.

He pulled back the wrapping to reveal two vials of glowing white liquid and looked back at the professor quizzically.

"It's something Harry and I have been working on since he was in school." Harry stared at him in amazement as he continued. "It was his idea, I merely expanded on it. We've not tested it quite yet, but—"

"What does it do?" Fred interjected.

"It's to help your transition go more smoothly. Hopefully without pain or—" Harry started, but was pulled into a hug. "Ack, ribs," he managed.

"Sorry," Fred said, setting him gently back on the couch.

"Do you like it?"

"Like it? It's bloody brilliant; I love it!" He replied, smiling at them both. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Severus started, "While the Wolfsbane is to stop you from shifting, should you forget, this is to help with the pain, as Harry said. Take one vial at sunset before you shift. That should give it ample time to fully infiltrate your system." He paused awkwardly, "The second is for Lupin; we figured you'd want to share... You'll tell us how it performs?"

"Without a doubt," he said honestly.

The three sat around and talked for a few more hours before Fred bid them farewell. He was anxious to get back to Lupin and tell him about the new potion. Once he was gone, Severus ordered soup to be brought to his chambers for both of them.

"Sev?"

"Hmmm?"

"I didn't know you'd kept working on the potion." It brought a smile to his face to know that even in his absence, the potion master kept experimenting.

"It was a potion," he replied matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd want to help Weres; you seemed pretty mad back when I told you about Fred."

"I wasn't mad, necessarily. I was worried for your safety. Knowing that the two of you were decent friends, I didn't want him to shift with you around and have you injured," he explained.

Harry smiled, he didn't want to press farther. "You're great and I love you; you know that?"

"I love you too," he said softly, not believing the rest of the statement. _If I were great, you wouldn't be hurt or under a dark bond. _


End file.
